Deep sighs and bows to you my friends.  As I write I notice that the light has fallen and reflect on my day, this month and the entire year. Reading in my sunroom light floods at the end of the day and then disappears.

What happens to light when it falls? It reflects, refracts and absorbs of course. Yes, light becomes a part of everything.  I ask myself if the light becomes a part of me why do I feel so cold and heavy? It has been a challenging day and so I have taken to meditation, prayer and writing in this very order.

I will let you in on a little secret. I am turning 50 and I set some serious goals for 50 and the month is passing quickly. When stressed I let go of routine and cope with mind-numbing activities such as binge-watching Netflix and scrolling on Instagram. I am single and an empty nester so if I eat cereal for dinner and put my pj’s on at 6 pm no one knows or is impacted. Let’s face it we all have days and nights that do require this. Today was such a day and in terms of my life, I realize that I want a change. If we measure every day as special why would we waste our time being upset or angry and frustrated with work? I make a  promise to move to something different. I need to let go of the stress and chronic caffeine binges. I need to soften with the light and absorb it taking it deep within to my core.

I know I am not the only one in this predicament. I look around and see many in this same situation and fifty-year-old responsibilities and lifestyle make it tough to make extreme changes. I think back to simpler times when I had less and yet felt more.

I think back to when love lingered here and family filled my days and nights to the brim. I was really tired during this period of my life. I had less money and more responsibilities and yet I didn’t worry about work or getting ahead. I learned about lightness and letting go and somehow with time the seriousness and pressures have built. My own critical heart and mind have left me doubting and holding onto past injuries.

Tonight as the last rays of light warmed me I let the light in. I whispered a prayer and let go of a tiny bit of tension and this is a start. Yes, a start which is slow and gradual yet promising and true. I am ready for change and change that is sustainable.

Tomorrow is a new day and a new dawn and I will let the light fall and softly embrace my own life and every opportunity that shines my way. I am ready to be the light I so deserve how about you?