Bone tired.

That’s the only phrase I can use to describe my energy level and state of mind over the past few weeks. Truthfully, the last few months.

It’s beyond the usual, run-of-the-mill, daily burnout. I go to sleep tired and wake up tired and can’t even count how many times during the day I say, to no one but myself, “Oh my god, I’m sooo exhausted.”

Some of it is just inevitable. I have a job to do and responsibilities at home and to myself and to the living, breathing things that rely on me.

Some of it is my fault. I often take on more than I know I should, saying yes to tasks to be helpful, creating almost-impossible-to-accomplish to-do lists, and packing my weekends with plans because I feel a longing to connect.

And some of it is beyond my control. Like health issues that I’m sure are my body’s way of alerting me that it’s time for a change. Or the fact that the world feels like an endless game of “What Crazy Ridiculous F*ck Sh*t will Happen Today?”

But regardless of what’s causing this constant weariness, I’ve had to accept that it’s here. It’s real. And it’s not something I can just continue to push through. (Part of my health issues include being anemic, so I literally just don’t have the energy.)

So I try to be gentle with myself. I try to love myself just a little more. I try to let myself be lazy when I need to be. I try to take time for myself, whether it’s doing an exercise video after work or spending a few extra minutes on my skincare routine or watching an “emotional comfort movie.”

And still, there are moments when the exhaustion takes over and I notice that I’m spending my limited energy blaming, shaming, and talking down to myself. Beating myself up for not being able to do all the things I want to do, all the things I feel like I should be doing.

You know what’s even more exhausting than being exhausted? Yep, making yourself feel like crap for being exhausted.

Back when I was in college, I took an African American Literature course. It was the first time I read the words of author Zora Neale Hurston. I remember turning the pages of Their Eyes Were Watching God and being mesmerized by how she described the complicated relationship between women and love and how we care (or don’t care) for ourselves.

Here are three Zora Neale Hurston quotes that can help us love ourselves a little more on the days when it feels hard to do so:

“I love myself when I am laughing…and then again when I am looking mean and impressive.”

“No hour is ever eternity, but it has its right to weep.”

“Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.”

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