This morning while I was out on my run, I felt a slight ache in my heart.

Part way through—I think when I took a short break to walk for a bit—I realized I felt lonely.

I said the words, I spoke them out loud, and I felt a warmth radiate through me, a softness.

It’s what always happens—when I acknowledge the tender feelings that at times arise within me.

The feelings transform as I connect to my heart, to myself.

Our society seems to be afraid of loneliness. We’re so quick to act, to move, to do—to try to escape the tender rawness of the feeling, of feelings that make us feel tender and raw.

I’ve done it so many times—called a loved one, distracted myself with social media or the internet, put on a show or a movie to cloud over whatever was happening within me.

There’s so much advice about what to do when we feel lonely. Connect with someone. Reach out. Do something.

Distract yourself.

But I don’t feel that any of that advice is what we really need.

I don’t feel the answer is to connect with someone, at least not at first.

I don’t feel the answer is to do something or get busy or distract ourselves.

I feel the answer is to soften, connect within, to feel what it is that we’re feeling. To allow what is arising to arise, and to feel it, to allow it to fill us and flow through us. To speak it out loud. To embrace it, figuratively wrap our arms around it and hold it. To befriend it.

When we allow the feeling to arise, we can connect more deeply to ourselves.

By just feeling and acknowledging what we’re feeling, we open space to connect more deeply within, to feel the warmth of the unwavering love deep within us radiate through us.

The answer isn’t to look outside at something external, to hope that something outside of us can fill us—it’s to go within.

No one and no thing outside of us can fill us completely.

It’s not about our external circumstances; it’s about what’s happening within us.

And when we simply soften and connect to ourselves, allow the feeling to arise, and feel it, hold space for it, allow it to flow through us, it can then be transformed—from within.

We can use these moments to connect more deeply to ourselves, to our hearts, to who we are beneath the emotions and feelings that fluctuate, the feelings and sensations that move through us.

There is a steadiness, a softness, a pure flow of love deep within us.

This is what we’re seeking, what we long to connect to—what longs to connect to us.

It’s so human, so natural, for us to feel loneliness at times, for us to long to connect, or to, at times, feel disconnected.

But the deepest connection we truly want, and need, is from ourselves.

When we give ourselves the beautiful space to connect inwardly, to feel what arises, what wants to move through us, we soften, we feel the tension dissolve, and we feel that soft, pure flow of love move through us.

It’s a beautiful experience—to feel that sweet, tender ache of loneliness transform from a soft, pure love that arises from within us.

The next time you feel lonely, try this:

Feel it.

Name it.

Speak it out loud.

Watch it.

Be with it.

And watch how it transforms from a tender feeling of love that moves through you, a love that arises from within you.

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