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September 8, 2023

Why Do I Get So Frigging Angry?

Anger Is Human

Anger is natural. It is a basic human emotion that everyone experiences. It just has a bad reputation. It is at best, unpleasant and most of us simply want no part of it — we don’t want to experience anger, ours or others. The internet is full of advice about how to do just that. Unfortunately a lot of this advice doesn’t allow for true healing but rather promotes avoidance.

Anger is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat.

Wikipedia

Here’s a fact: repressed anger can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, depression and even paranoia.* Alternative health care providers such as acupuncturists and chiropractors as well as conventional allopathic doctors have long recognized the physical damage caused to our body when we deny or repress anger.

Anger and Trauma

Fear, anxiety, anger, bearing a grudge, sadness, hatred or intense dislike, jealousy, envy — all disrupt the energy flow through the body, affect the heart, the immune system, digestion, production of hormones, and so on.

Eckhart Tolle

Anger is a response to fear and fear can almost always be linked to some crippling trauma from our past. Some say that much of the trauma we carry is ancestral.

Trauma memory is stored in the cells of our body. Certain external events will trigger the trauma memory and that opens the door to reactivity. When this happens it leads to intense emotions.

Here it is helpful to know that the emotions are not good or bad. They are simply our body and Soul nudging us towards healing.

Anger and Healing

Healing is our job. We are fully responsible for our emotional well being. In fact, we are the only ones that can insure our emotional health.

Yes, we can reach out to psychiatrists or soothsayers seeking support. They have the skills to provide a safe space allowing us to explore all our life issues and events so that healing will happen.

Our job is to step up and do the work. Once we become accountable, we fully realize our own personal power. This is what enables us, giving us the courage to transform our emotional life from one of enslavement to the past into one of total freedom. We literally change our lives.

We’ve got this! It is innate. It is our birthright.

Awareness. Acceptance. Action.

First we become aware of what is really going on. We recognize we are upset, fearful and angry. Good, perfect in fact!

Then we allow ourselves to feel the trauma as it rises in our physical body. Without judging it as bad or wrong, we begin to accept how we feel. Here we take back our power. Such a profound experience. The external source no longer controls us.

Next we roll up our sleeves and get to work, take action. This means peeling away the layers and exposing the hurt, seeing all of it for what it is. This often takes time and we may want to reach out for help. After all, we didn’t get here overnight.

Trauma is big and that big can make us feel small and weak but we are neither. And we are never alone.

Generally speaking, if a human being never shows anger, then I think something’s wrong. He’s not right in the brain. Dalai Lama

In my own personal journey with anger I have realized how freeing it is to discover that I actually have a choice. Showing anger is never the problem — it is in how I show my anger.

I do get angry. I used to blame it on genetics — my mom and a temper that matched her flaming red hair. Realizing that it is possible to be angry without being mean or cruel or abusive to myself or to others has changed my life. Yes, anger is natural. And, if we meet our anger from a place of inner peace, we see that it is a very useful, constructive tool.

Tools That Can Help

Here are a few things I found helpful. Take what works for you, leave the rest. This is important work.

  • Meditation — Taking quiet time, communing with my Soul and my Divinity, twice a day or more when stress arises. Sometimes I light a candle, diffuse some essential oil, put on meditative music and sit. Other times I may take a walk to the beach and/or read something inspiring.
  • Body Awareness — My body will tell me when I am moving out of Presence and into reactivity. https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/about/meditation/4237-2/
  • Gratitude — Taking stock of what I have that I am grateful for. Take a few minutes to jot down a few things in your journal. (See blog post on gratitude: https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/2023/07/17/gratitude-the-voice-of-the-divine/)
  • Self Inquiry Journaling — Ask the question, ‘what is really going on, and can I be here with this, whatever it is?’ And notice what comes up. Do this regularly and watch the answers shift. https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/self-inquiry-journaling/

This practice has changed my life, taught me how to be a better person, and empowered me to handle life’s problems in a way that reflects my core beliefs of Love, Tenderness and Acceptance.

Raise your words, not your voice. It is the rain that grows flowers, not thunder. Rumi

Lee Byrd
Mystic, Lightworker, Intuitive Guide

Essential Oil Educator
LeeByrdMystic.com
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