After years of conducting couples therapy, I can say with certainty the biggest reason women want to bolt from a relationship is  “ They don’t get me.”.

Women claim, ‘I am emotional, he is not, and that is why he doesn’t understand me’.

Let’s bust a few myths.

Myth 1: Men are NOT emotional.

Men are emotional!! Period. They were just conditioned not to show emotion as women do, and that can be a very, very good thing. On an evolutionary basis, if cavemen were crying around the campfire when there was no more buffalo meat left in the freezer, that would not be a good thing. In other words, be thankful that men do not collapse under their emotions as much as women do.

Myth 2: Men avoid conflict.

In general, women perceive themselves as more emotionally intelligent and can often come across as dominant, controlling, and somewhat manipulative when using “You statements” rather than “I feel statements”. When you tell your partner,  “You make me feel,” you blame him for your feelings. Stay in your own lane; after describing and sharing your feelings, you have done your job. There is nothing more for you to do except to process your emotions. No one can do that for you. That is your work. Speaking with a therapist, mentor, or confidant can often help you to process.

Myth 3: If HE does not ‘get you,’ hope is lost.

You cannot change your partner and how he perceives your message, share, or emotions. It is beyond your control. You are only responsible for communicating in a way that he can BEST interpret your message. You can still be in a very loving relationship and agree to disagree.

So, if I was your therapist, what you should be asking me instead is “ Teach me how to communicate with my partner in a way that he becomes my business partner”. The business is called life, and you are here to play the long game. Stay focused on the vision of your business by taking responsibility for your emotions.