How much of life is certain? Not much of what we focus on, or take for granted, or think about is certain. When you peer deep down, you can see that our lives are entirely based on grace. But this is not something our minds accept easily – our minds want everything to be clear. They like to create labels because they are meant to protect us. And so in times when we feel sad or life is challenging or uncertain, we have a natural tendency to want to draw conclusions.

If you are facing grief, depression or difficult challenges, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to learn to let go of your negative thoughts. Negative thinking is not the same as evaluating a situation realistically. It can be a difficult practice in the midst of challenges to let go of negative thoughts, but this is also the time when you can develop unshakeable new strength. Mindfulness is not a hobby. Mindfulness is a powerful practice that can save your wellbeing, health and even life. If you can create some distance between you and your hurtful thoughts, you are doing much more for yourself than you know.

We can easily use our minds to break our hearts. We can diminish our capacity to love ourselves, connect to the Divine, and create possibilities for ourselves. Learning to hold steady in difficult times without constantly trying to pin reality down with our thoughts is an important life skill.

Our mental states change; our emotions shift; our circumstances change. We know less about what we are experiencing than we realise. More than 90% of our daily experiences are stored in our subconscious. Sometimes our hearts weigh heavy because we are processing some ancient pain and the walls around our hearts are about to dissolve. Other times, we might simply be feeling the weight of a cloudy sky. Even when external circumstances are challenging objectively, drawing negative conclusions can only bring us down further. My mentor was always right: the mind seeks to serve itself not me.

We don’t know what tomorrow might bring. We don’t even know what the next 30 minutes might bring. Your mind is created in such a way as to be vigilant and try to make sense of what is happening. It is much like a loving clumsy child trying to help their mother in the kitchen. Unless you teach it better, it will always mess things up.

My life changed the day I made a commitment to let go of my negative thoughts. I woke up one day, and I started doing it. It is a powerful practice. Commit to it for an hour, half a day, or a day, whatever feels doable to you right now. Then increase this practice. Add to it a practice of allowing your emotions and releasing them. In this way, you will be less inclined to try to use your mind to resolve difficult emotions.

And add a big big dollop of faith and hopefulness. Because you are loved and worthy of love as well. Grace comes down in unexpected ways, we just need to believe and ask for it.