Arrogance, jealousy, disrespect – are all different words used at different times to explain the varying degrees of the ego. That is why the Gnanis have given them different names. No matter how many good qualities a human being has, but if his ego is not beautiful then everything is useless. Ego should be such that people would like you and welcome you. A huge ego is a grave danger zone even in the progress on the path of moksha. It keeps one wandering in the world, intoxicated in ‘I.’ Many a times, one thinks that he does not have such ego but it could be lying dormant within. If so, it could flare up to a huge size ego anytime. So we need to identify this ego and eradicate it from its very roots.

To start with, what’s the right meaning of ego?

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, the Enlightened being, explains:

What does ego mean? It is that which runs far away from God. As the ego increases; words like obstinacy, pride, ego of doership (garva), arrogance are used to describe its intensity. Ego arises the moment one moves even little away from the Lord within—the Self (the Soul).

As long as there is ego, the egoism of ‘I am the one’, anger, pride, deceit, greed, not a single one of these can be defeated. This is because their support is the ego, and the ego itself is supported by something else. Its root cause is ignorance of the Self.

What are the effects of having a huge ego on one’s life?

Happiness can’t be attained by wrong egoism. Ego should be normal. It should be such that people find it acceptable. This means beautiful ego is needed. Is ugly ego good or is beautiful ego good? Beautiful ego is good. The ugly ego will say at every step of the way, ‘Don’t you know this much?’ or ‘I care a damn for anybody!’ Why are you who cares for no one acting mad? Who are you to care for no one? If the police arrests you right now, you will wet your pants!

‘Do whatever you can’ – what kind of ego is that?

If someone instigates even a bit, it (the huge ego) can act crazy in any manner. And if a King is instigated, he will say, ‘Burn them all right now.’ At that moment, he doesn’t realize what the result of this act will be. The nature of the ego is such that it will use up all that is in its power and influence.

If you throw around your weight (ego) a lot, your own brothers will say, ‘It will be good if he is given the runaround; that will straighten him out.’ They have this inner intent of making their brother with the ego suffer a heavy fall. This egoism has such bad qualities that not only the brothers, but even the wife will think in her mind that he has gone up too high, ‘Oh God, give him such a push that he gets straight.’ Now tell me, what quality of egoism is this, that one can’t even get along with the members of one’s own family? His son-in-laws too will mindfully await an opportunity to teach him a lesson, “He is exercising his egoism right now, but one day, we will put him in the right place.” They will keep digging from all four sides to cut down the tree so that it falls down on the ground! They won’t spare him.

No one likes such crazy ego. If it is somewhat proper, somewhat normal, it may be useful! And what is it that necessitates such egoism? You don’t have any kingdom. Oh, even the comfort of a grand shower in the bathroom may not be there, and yet you are unnecessarily doing egoism! This crazy ego will destroy him; it will cause a lot of damage to his own self only.

‘I am something’ – that is another huge ego

You should ask the ego, ‘Show me your record book. Show me instances where people have given you respect. Show me where you have suffered insults. What kind of happiness have you received? Has anyone ever held you in high regard?’ His father and brothers also say, ‘He is worthless!’

So ask the ego, ‘Have you won anyone’s heart?’ Even if one were special to just a few people, the ego would be considered good, but wherever he goes, people think, ‘It would be nice if he goes away.’ People may not say anything on his face, but in their minds, they will say, ‘Leave it, he will meet his death through his bad deeds.’

Huge ego is verily a big enemy

We can ask this ego, ‘When have you ever been at peace?’ Where will you find people who are thrilled to see you and welcome you warmly telling you they could not do without you? Instead, people will say, ‘Everything was fine until he showed up!’ You have suffered endless insults. What good is such an ego? Why should you protect such an ugly ego? Why should you take sides with it?

People will not associate with you if they feel they will lose their reputation. ‘What would be my worth?’ they fear. This kind of ego is crazy and foolish. What is the point of having a beautiful body and an ugly ego? You can make do with an ugly body but the ego should not be ugly. Many people have ugly faces, but their ego is so beautiful that people will welcome them with open arms, ‘Welcome sir. Come in.’

When you look at all the stages of spiritual development, you will understand that the ego has caused nothing but misery. It makes a person believe he is superior and others around him think otherwise. The Chakravarti emperors used to have an ego too, but it was a malleable ego. One could mould it anyway one wanted. People accept such ego; it is a wise ego, whereas this is a crazy and foolish ego.

The heavier the ego, the greater is the problem

A wise ego will not try to enforce its own wisdom whereas this foolish ego will criticize everything. Such mad ego shows its true colours in many ways. It will not let one accept the right talk. One with huge ego will always think, ‘I am right, my talk is right.’ By having such insistence, huge ego makes one have the intent of harming others for the sake of ego, it makes one very upset and restless when things don’t happen as per his will, it makes one keep protecting one’s self, one’s own talk, one’s own belief, and on the other hand it sees negative of others, demeans others in whatever way one can, interferes in everything, believing, ‘I am smart.’ If his selfish interest is not satisfied, he will not hesitate insulting the other person, will even wish bad for others, will be busy seeing the faults of everybody else and regarding himself, will believe that, ‘I am very wise, I know everything, I am special, I am great, I have skills’; it will perpetuate such intoxication that one will say, “No one cannot do without me.’

You can undo the mess and accomplish your goal by surrendering to the Gnani

This ego has created nothing but a mess. Akram Gnani’s ego is very pleasant and wonderful. He would sit with you but He would also sit with the lowest of people. He would not look ugly or out of place anywhere. He would always look wonderful. Your ego too, should look just like His and then you will see what a wonderful state that is! So, the best way then is to remain under the guidance of a Gnani Purush with humility. Hence, there is no way out other than to surrender to the Living Gnani!