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When my roots grow out and I see how much gray hair I have, I cringe inwardly and outwardly.

I have seen some truly stunning women with beautiful gray, or even silver, hair. I admire them for their ability to embrace the way their looks are changing with age.

I just don’t think I’m at that place yet. I might never be one of those women who embraces their gray hair and let’s it grow out. That’s just not me. I don’t want to have gray hair just yet.

Is that vanity? Am I unable to accept the inevitability of getting older? I don’t really know. Does it matter? It shouldn’t because this is my life, and these are my choices.

I have frown lines on my forehead and fine lines around my eyes and mouth. I’ve thought about trying Botox to fill the lines on my forehead. Those make me self-conscious. Those are something about my face that I don’t like. Will I actually get Botox? I don’t know. I’m not really sure how I feel about injecting anything into my face.

The lines around my eyes and around my mouth remind me of how much I smile. I kind of like having those lines. They say to a passerby, “This woman has laughed and smiled so much in her life that she has permanent marks.” That’s really beautiful to me.

My breasts are saggy after having two kids and dealing with gravity for 44 years. It’s natural for them to look the way they do. Have I thought about getting a lift so they’re a little perkier? Absolutely. Would I ever actually do it? Again, I don’t know. The thought of going under the knife for something like that doesn’t really appeal to me. Nor does the recovery time.

I know that it is a privilege to wear these signs of aging. I feel fortunate to still be on this earth. I’m just not sure how comfortable I am with showing my age just yet.

On the inside, I still feel like a young girl. I think the conflicting feelings I have is because I want how I feel on the inside to match how I look on the outside. As I get older, I’m sure those feelings will change. But for now, I want them to match.

I am a girly girl. I love makeup, beauty products, and hair products. One thing that I really love about being a woman is being able to change my look into anything I can dream up. Makeup and hair can be really powerful tools. If I’m having a down day, putting on some makeup and fixing my hair always cheers me up. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel pretty. It makes me feel confident.

To some, wearing makeup and coloring our hair might be signs of vanity. To those people, I say “buzz off.”

Life is short. We should all be doing the things that make us the happiest and help us to like ourselves better. Happier people = a happier world.

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