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In the minds of those with ADHD, a paradox is hidden.

There is an intricate, delicate balance between struggle and brilliance. ADHD is a neurological disorder that is a symphony of competing parts, with a unique rhythm beating in opposition to the cadence of everyday life for neurotypical individuals.

Life with ADHD means dwelling in a world of contrast. Simple tasks most people find mind-numbingly easy can feel immensely difficult (I am looking at you, laundry). In contrast, some tasks that others find immensely hard are a cake walk for the ADHDer, if there is interest in the subject matter (thank you, hyperfocus). Regular everyday tasks can feel like Mt. Everest, while complex tasks feel like tasks that can be done without thought.

I know this firsthand as someone who lives and breathes within these contradictions. These are the same contrasts that make me adored by some, or pushed away by others. Many people with ADHD call it their superpower; I myself have used this term.

However, we do ourselves and society a disservice when we minimize or neglect to recognize the disadvantages. It is a balance; ADHD brings natural strengths but also some fundamental weaknesses. Similarly, we also do a disservice when we only see ADHD as a weakness or a deficit to overcome (PS: we can’t. It’s neurological).

Baby, we were born this way.

An individual with ADHD experiences creative sparks, lit up by an idea outside the box and off the colouring lines. When that spark is lit, it will flare brightly like a shining star that fills us with a sense of urgency from the overwhelming passion it ignites. These are the moments that make us shine: we can get lost in a project, losing time as we enact a flow of ideas that seem to come effortlessly. In this flow state, we can solve unsolvable problems, using our creativity to see the answers others might not. A person with ADHD is an intuitive thinker and will jump to conclusions and ideas that feel ahead of their time.

We will happily skip down the road to the bridge before a neurotypical even knows there is a bridge up ahead to cross. And it happens at lightning speed.

Current research backs this up. Studies show that ADHD brains are wired for creativity and divergent thinking. We see connections that others might miss. For this reason, an adult who has learned how to harness the power of their ADHD brain has a cognitive advantage when it comes to innovation and entrepreneurial endeavours. We are not meant to be told what to do but to do what we see inside, and for this reason, you will typically find us working in a business we created or chasing our new passion project.

We are not just dreamers; we are creators. We are depleted in dopamine, so we have spent an entire lifetime learning how to create it, since we have less than a neurotypical human does. This can present in a healthy way or an unhealthy way, like addictions to food, substances, work, sex, money, and power.

For healthy ADHDers, we are often the fun ones in the room, full of enthusiasm, spontaneous, and just the right amount of zesty to be contagious, until it is exhausting for you, and more so for us. If we have exhausted ourselves, we will zone out from total and complete depletion and appear to be a couch potato until recovered.

On a typical day, an ADHD brain is in five places at one time, zooming fast like a duck’s feet frantically moving under the water. It looks peaceful and serene, but inside it is not. The same superpowered brain that can hyperfocus on something difficult for others will profoundly struggle with simple tasks. Our brain is busy, and we can only hold so many pieces of information simultaneously. Remembering to send that email, call you back, keep track of time, and organize the truly important tasks are informational pieces vulnerable to getting knocked out of our heads. This makes it challenging to stay grounded in a world of routines and deadlines.

This is our blessing and our curse. We can knuckle down and achieve something truly great but will also lose our keys three times that day. We are creative problem solvers but find adult life exhausting. The mundane is difficult when a fast mind pulls you in 1,000 different directions an hour. We are tired, literally almost all of the time.

Doing normal things is hard; so, most often, you can find us off on a side quest gathering some dopamine, while we procrastinate on the day-to-day stuff.

In this parallel of contrasts, dissonance and stigma grow. Society is confused by a mind that is brilliant yet also forgetful, out to lunch, and scattered. However, this is where the beauty is born. ADHD is a different way of being; one that, if understood, can be a source of strength rather than weakness.

We live in an exciting age, and for eons, psychology believed ADHD was only a childhood condition seen in boys, later outgrown. We now know we were completely wrong. Females have ADHD—and it looks nothing like how it presents for males. We are also typically diagnosed in adulthood as we are excellent at hiding our deficits and internalizing our symptoms. We are not bouncing around the room; we are bouncing around inside our minds, daydreaming, miles away, captivated by a world inside.

While the ADHD boy is getting yelled at for not sitting still and being disruptive in class, the ADHD girl is quietly sitting at the back of the classroom, lost in her own thoughts, perfecting her perfectionism, and being a good girl to hide the fact that a problem is growing.

He becomes the bad kid, while she becomes the good girl.

If ADHD was a song, it would be “My Way” by Frank Sinatra.

If ADHD was a car, it would be a Lamborghini.

If ADHD was a colour, it would be a kaleidoscrope of fractals exploding in a beautiful fireworks show.

ADHD is not less than enough; ADHD is more than enough.

Are you now more confused than ever? If you remember nothing, remember these 13 truths:

1. A 10-minute house task will feel like suffering, but sitting for hours on a creative project feels enjoyable.

2. We know how to dopamine seek and make boring tasks fun.

3. We display high emotional intelligence, reading people, emotional nuances, and situations with ease, and then get distracted by a passing thought as we break our attention on you to go chase a butterfly that just flittered in our mind.

4. Spontaneity: Yes! So easy! Planning: Whyyyyyyy is it so hard? Impromptu adventure? Sign me up! Planning for our future? *crickets chirping*

5. The big picture thinker who will abandon the project when it’s 90-percent done and time for the small details to be finished (bonus points for working on 15 projects at one time).

6. Hello, impulsivity! Let’s jump into something really quickly and think without speaking! But also, let’s be the most thoughtful people in the room, thinking deeply without others knowing and then surprising everyone by saying something poignant and thoughtful, identifying a connection that everyone else missed.

7. The socially anxious social butterfly! At times, the life of the party, but then overanalyzes conversations for days, worrying if they were perceived wrong. The research shows people with ADHD have received far more criticism over their life as a result of who they are, and as a result, social rejection is crippling to them.

8. Still trying to remember important things while being full of ideas and possibilities.

9. Impatient yet compassionate. Waiting for our turns and standing in line can be tough, yet empathizing with the underdog is as easy as pie.

10. Craving novelty but needing routine. New experiences are sought after since boredom is experienced easily—new stimulation is hunted for, but then the need for routine and quiet quickly kicks in as overwhelm occurs.

11. Self-discipline is like running a marathon, yet there is an infinite supply of willpower for topics of interest. Things like diets, routines, and goals will be hard to stick to if the dopamine isn’t there. When the dopamine is there, we are like a dog with a bone that will not give up or let go.

12. Inattentive, yet insightful! Were you listening? No! But here is this super in-depth, poignant thought I have to share on the topic. Let me wow you with my fresh perspective while I was zoned out, also not paying attention to you.

13. Need to thrive under pressure? Let’s procrastinate and hit a home run in the 11th hour! Our sense of chaoticness means we are brilliant and focused in a crisis. Urgent is how we roll!

Welcome to the paradox. The things that make us struggle will also be some of our greatest strengths. We look like a trainwreck until we impress the hell out of you with the talent we picked up seemingly overnight as we create something amazing out of the blue, leaving you stumped.

A final important thought: No, we do not all have a little ADHD. We do all experience the symptoms associated with ADHD, just like we all sometimes experience the symptoms related to depression and anxiety. We might be experiencing anxiety and fear, or be crying and amotivational, but that is not the same thing as clinical depression and anxiety. In the same way, experiencing the symptoms of ADHD does not mean the diagnosis is there. If in doubt, seek out a professional and talk to your doctor.

We are not all meant to be the same. And, that is a beautiful thing. Life would be boring if we were all painted the same colour.

Squirrel!

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