“I want everyone to know that no matter whether they see me or not, I am always dressed beautifully.”

These words, suddenly appearing in my head, stopped me in my tracks.

For months now, I had noticed a powerful shift coming over me. At its core, it’s felt like a knot finally coming loose that contained my bounty of fears about being visible in the world as the colourful, expansive, creative spirit and woman I truly am.

This did not come out of nowhere. 2024 was the year I left a long-term relationship and five years living abroad to move back to my home country and rebuild my life. It was the year I was forced in more than one situation, sometimes dramatically, to end a generational pattern of being untrue to myself in the service of keeping the status quo.

I saw my internal limits more clearly than I ever have and despite wanting to climb under the covers some days and binge 90s rom-coms, most days, I forced myself to stand before my closet and get dressed.

To will the new life—and the new me!—I was building into existence every day.

The most obvious way this has expressed itself has been my increased confidence, creativity, and joy in dressing myself intentionally every single day.

My Greek grandmother always insisted on us taking pride in our appearance and ever since my university days, I’ve interconnected clothing with my mindset.

I’ll never forget one day having to miss a dinner with my university peers because I was finishing an essay I had due. I sent them all a photo of me writing away in my dormitory, wearing a (comfy) red summer dress and lipstick. They were aghast as to why I was so “dressed up” when it was just me, myself, and I in my dorm room.

I told them the truth: It was about bringing my A-game from a mindset perspective to my essay!

For the same reason, I’ve always tried to dress nicely for work every day, even though I work from home as a freelance marketer. But over the last few months, I’ve felt this become increasingly intentional as I started to treat each day—whether I left the house or not—like a fashion show.

What I realised is that my clothing, and how I present myself, is an extension of my energy in every situation.

It’s for myself, but it’s also for others.

Firstly, fashion and getting dressed is about my mindset and intention for every action and interaction.

People say that to make our dreams happen, we need to work backwards and first be the person who can live in those dreams.

We have to bridge the gap between our current and future selves, and one of the ways we can do that is through the physical way we move in the world.

Let me tell you, stepping out of the house looking dressed up or even just different from the past can be excruciating! No matter what “dressed up” looks to each of us, it is wild how much this can trigger and challenge the fears of our old selves.

While there are certainly times for quietly slipping through life and enjoying a Harry Potter cloak of invisibility, we cannot be wearing this cloak and actively creating our dreams.

On a surface level, it can seem like I’m simply putting on a killer outfit, looking confident and gorgeous every day, the end.

But on a deeper level, I am battling—sometimes playfully, sometimes harshly—with a younger version of myself over this gap between who I was and who I want to be.

Wearing outfits that embody my highest self—in business, love, as a writer—has been a profound kind of therapy. Daily, it’s helped me work through my old impulses to downplay myself, my ego saying it’s “cringe” and vain to share myself openly and boldly.

Then there is the sinister idea that there is some moral virtue as a woman to being demure and playing down the brilliance of who we are—almost certainly a vestige from our patriarchal society.

But what we don’t realise is that humbleness is not the same thing as invisibility. In fact, in a society obsessed with “humbling” women, I’d rather we ask ourselves why our definition of humbleness requires us to squash and limit our expression.

Beyond myself, a major part of this also has to do with giving others permission to embody their own creativity, beauty, fun, and confidence.

As a deeply service-orientated person, this aspect has frankly given me permission to embark on this path because I know that my dressing up is not only for me.

I think we underestimate how powerful it can be to be in someone’s presence who embodies all the things we wish we could embody and realise, “Wow, if they can do it, maybe I can emerge from my shell too!”

I know I’ve felt this in the presence of others I look up to, and it’s definitely part of who I want to be in the world, especially as a writer.

Recently, I logged onto a Zoom call with a potential client, and after taking one look at me, she paused our meeting to apply her own lipstick. She then beamed at me through the screen and said I inspired her to embrace her own beauty in that moment.

I’m not saying there’s been zero negative reactions from people about my confident dressing—though the only times I’ve actually gotten a Regina George “nice skirt” comment was years ago.

The thing is, for every weird vibe or comment, there have been a thousand more positive experiences and feeling like as I express myself through my fashion and grow myself, that is helping others too.

Without exception, though, the comment I get at least three times a week is: “What’s the occasion?”

I tell everyone the same thing: The occasion is life.

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