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“Women are considered fragile, but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego.” ~ Unknown

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We live in interesting times.

Times where we have so much more knowledge and that knowledge is at our fingertips. Times where therapy is more readily available and the benefits of therapy are more understood. Times where self-awareness is spoken about openly. Times where we understand more about the patriarchy and it’s harm to everyone, men and women.

Yet, we still have not learnt enough about the ego. That ego that so often hides the huge insecurities of many.

2025 is different from 1950, as it should be. We evolve. We are meant to evolve. As a species, we cannot remain stagnant. How things were done was a sign of the times, based on the knowledge we had. They were neither right or wrong because we knew and understood far less, but time shows us that we can do better. We should do better.

And we change. Society changes. Relationship dynamics change. The way we raise our children changes. Laws change. What used to be hidden behind closed doors is more out in the open. What used to be accepted may no longer be accepted. The societal constructed gender rules that were normalised are not always considered normal now. The once uneven balance between men and women is starting to even out.

Because it’s 2025 and we should evolve. We need to evolve.

What unfortunately remains misunderstood and in the dark, because it’s still trying to hang desperately to the past, is the ego. And more notably, the fragile male ego.

It’s exhausting listening to the rhetoric of what a “masculine” man is. Whilst biology plays a part, of course, much of what is spewed out of the mouths of insecure men is the created gender roles. This is causing so much harm to men. Much of the male loneliness epidemic can directly be attributed to these unhealthy and archaic belief systems. An unwillingness to accept the world has changed, what women value in relationships has changed, the role of a husband and father has changed. The view of women as objects is no longer the norm. The fact that most women live their lives with more freedom, dress for themselves, and not everything a woman does revolves around attracting a man is  really difficult for some to understand.

And whilst the reality may bruise a few egos, it is the truth nonetheless.

Nobody wants to be rejected, hurt, or humiliated, be it man or woman. But no is a full sentence. It may be personal, or it may not be personal. It doesn’t really matter; If we are secure in ourselves, we have the grace to accept a no and move along. It may hurt, but like any evolved adult human, we have the ability to find the tools to help us process the hurt or seek professional support.

What is happening time and time again is the inability to accept a no because the raging insecurities slap the ego awake and that fragile ego cannot and will not respect the word no. It’s seen as a personal attack and has the ego come out fighting. There will be a defensive attack, a putrid projection of one’s own self-loathing onto a person who dared to say no. Who dared to be unresponsive. Who dared to put a boundary in place. And every single time, instead of self-reflection, understanding, and acceptance of another human being’s personal choice, we have the fragile ego furiously raging that it didn’t get its way.

Here’s the thing: nobody owes another anything.

It’s not another’s job to pacify your ego. It’s your job to understand why you behave like that.

Every day, women shrink themselves to soothe the male ego. Every day, women make themselves smaller and smaller, so as not to ruffle the male’s feathers. Every day, there will be countless videos of angry men making videos in their car of how they have been wronged by a woman. How all they want is a homemaker to make their lives easier. How women who focus on anything else but them are in their masculine energy. How anything but a vestal virgin is used up. How it’s biology for a man to sow his seed all around the place but any woman who has an active sex life is a ho. How men need sex. How men need to lead. What all men want is peace. Yet these same men bring nothing but chaos into the lives of women and wonder why women are choosing to stay single.

And I know without a shred of a doubt that this article will upset some men. How do I know this? Because their fragile ego will not be able to take the criticism. Their fragile ego will not be able to accept that women do not live their lives revolved around the desires of men. Their fragile ego will not be able to comprehend that a woman is writing something that goes against their conditioning.

Why should our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, daughters, granddaughters, and female friends shrink themselves? Why should we hide our intelligence, skills, knowledge, and gifts so a man can feel better about himself? Whether that be in the home, the workplace, or even the gym. Why is it our job to dance around his fragile ego?

Our job is to be the best version of ourselves and the man’s job is to be the best version of himself. It’s never been our job to fix him. Mother him. Stroke his ego. Pretend we’re less than to boost his confidence. And we need to stop raising our boys to think this is how men should be. That he is somehow superior to his female counterparts. That his male privilege entitles him to behave how he wants. And that he needs to project all his pain onto others to feel better about himself.

And to the women out there who not only enable these behaviours but encourage them, we need to stop.

Stop shrinking yourself because he can’t regulate his emotions.

The fragile ego leads us down a path of toxic traits and behaviours. It’s control. Jealousy. Projection. Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Belittlement of successful women. It’s abuse. It’s infidelity. It’s the need for power. The search for external validation. It’s the desperation to win at all costs. To be seen a certain way.

If a woman’s confidence, boundaries, intelligence, or success bruises your ego, that’s on you not her.

It’s fascinating how these types of men think they are dominant. Unshakeable. Indestructible. They believe they are strong and born leaders. That they are on top of the food chain and deserve respect, whether they’ve earned it or not. They repeatedly waffle on about their masculinity and their self-appointed alpha-ness. They belittle men who show vulnerability as weak and “beta.” They disrespect men who show respect to women. They see a world where only men are powerful creators. They believe they are deserving of what and who they want, because they are men and everything in life revolves around them. They think they hide their emotions yet their anger is raging.

And the biggest lie they’ve been told is the male ego is invincible, when in fact it’s more often fragile. So easily shattered that we women tiptoe around it to make ourselves small. We shrink ourselves more and more so that a man can feel good.

The ego can be a dangerous thing when you let it control your life.

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