You’ve been told you need it. That it’s the only way to move on. That if you just get one final conversation, one explanation, one moment of understanding, you’ll finally be able to close the door and walk away clean.

So you wait. You rehearse what you’ll say. You draft texts you never send. You wonder if they owe you closure—because how can you move on without it?

But here’s the hard truth: Closure is often just another way to delay letting go.

Closure Is a Myth We Tell Ourselves

The idea of closure is comforting because it suggests there’s a neat, logical ending to emotional chaos. A moment where everything clicks, the pain dissolves, and you walk away lighter.

But real life? It’s rarely that tidy.

>> People don’t always have the answers you’re looking for. Sometimes they don’t even understand why they did what they did.

>> Even if they did explain, it probably wouldn’t satisfy you. Because the pain isn’t just about what happened—it’s about what you hoped would happen instead.

>> Closure isn’t a moment—it’s a choice. And waiting for someone else to give it to you just hands them more power over your healing.

The Real Reason We Chase Closure

Most of the time, we don’t actually want an explanation. We want a different ending.

>> We want them to say they regret it.

>> We want them to admit they were wrong.

>> We want them to hurt the way we hurt.

>> We want to understand why we weren’t enough for them to stay, change, or love us better.

But the kind of closure we crave isn’t about understanding. It’s about undoing the pain. And no conversation—no matter how deep, honest, or raw—can erase what already happened.

You Don’t Need Their Permission to Move On

Closure doesn’t come from a text, a conversation, or an apology. It comes from deciding for yourself that the story is over.

>> You don’t need them to validate your pain for it to be real.

>> You don’t need an apology to decide you deserve better.

>> You don’t need to understand why they did what they did to know it hurt you.

Sometimes, the most powerful closure is accepting that you’ll never fully get it—and moving forward anyway.

Because the real ending isn’t when they explain. It’s when you stop waiting for them to.

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