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There’s something magical about being your authentic self.

People are drawn to you effortlessly. This type of energy attracts a job that’s aligned with you. It simply makes everything click.

If all we need to do is simply be ourselves, why is it difficult to let it be this easy?

Imagine you’re interviewing for jobs. You have several interviews lined up. At this stage, you’re gathering information and you’re more curious than nervous about each opportunity.

You go on a first interview. The conversation is so effortless it doesn’t even seem like an interview. You ask thoughtful questions that express interest in the company. You knock it out of the park.

After being invited back for a second interview you learn more about the role. It’s not just a job. This is your dream job! You’ve just assigned importance to this interview that wasn’t there before. You get nervous.

This is where things go south. You go from being interested in the idea of this job to needing to have this job. During this interview you start overthinking responses to questions you previously answered with ease. You edit yourself. Gone is the charismatic “you” that they met in the first interview.

What happened? You’re in full people-pleasing mode. Your mind is spinning: “What do they want to hear? How should I act? What version of me will get me this job?”

When you’re stuck in that loop of trying to be liked or trying to “get it right,” your brain is too busy to be creative, connected, or clear. Overthinking hijacks your presence. You’re no longer responding in real time; you’re filtering everything through a mental checklist for approval.

You trade your natural flow for control. And, ironically, that very control repels the connection you’re trying to create. You can’t connect with someone if you’re not even connected to yourself.

It’s easy to get caught in this trap when it comes to relationships too. When you first meet someone, you don’t really care what they think of you. You haven’t attached meaning to this person so it’s easy to be yourself. Over time if you really grow to like the person you may fall into the trap of trying to win them over.

Since you’re more focused on what they think of you, instead of being yourself, this comes across as disingenuous. The irony is they were attracted to who you presented yourself to be in the beginning, the person you’re no longer being because you’re nervous and overthinking.

How to not fall into this trap:

>> Stay Curious, Not Attached

Remember how you felt in the first interview? Curious. Open. Relaxed. That energy is powerful because it signals confidence and presence. When you shift into attachment—thinking “I need this to work out”—you lose that spark. Instead, keep asking yourself, “What can I learn here?”

>> Notice When You Start Performing

Overthinking often leads to “performing” instead of “being.” You’ll know you’ve slipped into this mode when you start second-guessing your every word or trying to read the other person’s mind. The fix? Bring it back to the present moment. Make it a conversation, not an audition.

>> Trust That You Are Enough

This sounds like a cliché, but it’s the foundation of authenticity. When you trust that who you are is already enough, you stop contorting yourself to fit what you think others want. Ironically, that’s exactly what makes people gravitate toward you.

>> Practice Being Real in Low-Stakes Moments

You don’t need to wait for big moments to practice authenticity. Start small. Speak your truth in casual conversations. Say “I don’t know” when you don’t. Laugh at your own awkwardness. The more you show up as you, the easier it becomes to stay in that place—even when it matters most.

Truly, the best thing you can do is keep being you. Trust that the right people will find you, the right opportunities will align, and you’ll never have to be anything other than yourself.
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