I still find it weird when I see tourists standing in some of the most beautiful places on the planet, busy taking pictures of themselves, but hardly looking at what is in front of them. Their main concern seems to be proving that they were there, and they’re so focused on this that they miss out on enjoying the place itself.

I think too many of us go through life as if we were taking selfies—worrying about how other people see us, and whether we’re making the right impression.

The sad thing is that all this self-watching doesn’t give us what we most need: connection with other people.

When we’re looking in a metaphorical mirror, it gets in the way of us making contact in a way that’s essential to our mental and emotional well-being.

Perhaps all this selfie-taking is a throw-back to when we were kids, craving attention and approval from our parents. But we can never get enough of that, and if we really want to feel good about ourselves as adults, we have to be the source of our own approval, rather than looking for it from outside.

Recently I visited Budapest, a wonderful and very photogenic city, and decided to try sightseeing without my phone and pay full attention to just being there. I couldn’t have imagined how much more I enjoyed seeing and sensing everything; I even felt a bit sorry for all the people who were staring into their little screens.

Next time you’re somewhere lovely, try going selfie-free and enjoying everything in the moment!

You’re likely to come away with a bunch of unforgettable memories, rather than a phone full of photos that probably neither you nor your friends will ever look at again.

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