My heart was racing. I struggled to take a deep breath. I was in a spiral of fear and anxiety.

Waiting for a phone call from my doctor about my bone density scan results, I was shocked at my state of panic.

My inner critic added to the mix with a dose of shame. I heard the words, “Don’t be such a wimp. There is no point in being so scared. You should know better how to handle stress.”

On the day of the test, the technician reassured me that if all was normal, I would probably not get a call about the results. I could assume there was nothing to worry about. When I got the call to make an appointment to talk about my results, I immediately imagined the worst. What if my bones were brittle and weak? What if I was told I couldn’t safely hike or lift weights? I imagined myself being labelled as a weak, old, fragile senior. One who would be limited in the activities which I loved so much.

I tried breathing into my fear and facing it courageously. I shared with my husband and wrote in my journal. There was little relief.

I went for an early morning walk on a favourite trail in the forest, which allowed me to be with my unsettled emotions and helped me get home to await the call.

As I walked in the door my phone rang. I quickly grabbed it from my jacket pocket and said hello, doing my best to sound calm. My doctor said a bright hello and immediately said, “Your bone strength is excellent. In fact, your scan shows that your bones are stronger than women half your age. You are an inspiration. Keep on doing whatever you are doing.” I could hardly take it in as she went on with the technical details of my scan. I scarcely remember ending the call. I was beside myself with relief, gratitude, and pride that all my years of weight-bearing exercise had paid off.

As I celebrated this good news, I reflected on what had been occurring for me during this tumultuous time. I have come to realize that I was experiencing the “bias of negativity” that my brain is programmed for. This is a description that Dr.Rick Hanson uses to explain the tendency we have as humans to expect the worst. The brain is set up to be on guard for danger. We can thank our ancestors for this. They needed to be on the lookout for danger in order to survive. Today, the challenges are often not life-threatening. Sometimes they are present only in our imagination. However, the brain doesn’t seem to know the difference.

You may have heard the phrase: the brain is like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good. For example, criticism sticks and compliments slide off as I shrug them away. I imagine the worst as I prepare for a presentation. Or I may worry about the details of my vacation trip and focus on possible problems. As a result, I limit myself in what I think I can accomplish, and I miss out on joy and connection.

I am fascinated by Dr. Rick Hanson’s teachings on the possibility of rewiring my brain. He says that “neuroplasticity can be harnessed for positive change.”

Here are some ways I am learning to teach my brain to look for the good and imagine the best rather than the worst.

I stop and notice moments that are “life-giving.”

Waking up one morning after two days of heavy rain, I look outside at our maple tree. It is glowing as if lit from within. The sunrise brought it to life and I felt a jolt of joy in my heart. I took a moment to gaze and capture the sensation of awe that I felt. I allowed the feelings to sink into my heart rather than immediately rushing off to get my morning coffee.

On my walk through golden paths of fallen leaves, I came upon a family in the midst of a photo shoot. Two young boys stood under a magnificent maple tree with their arms around each other. As I walked by and greeted their mother, her face was beaming. Joy radiated from her and I smiled back with recognition of her love for her boys. As I continued my walk, I breathed in the magic of this interaction and felt my heart soften.

Gratitude is a powerful tool for me on this path of healing. Rather than merely listing what I am thankful for, I have started adding reasons why I am grateful for a particular thing. I am glad for restful sleep. This is significant because there are nights when I toss and turn and my night isn’t rejuvenating. When I sleep deeply, my body is refreshed, my soul is renewed, and and I have energy for the day ahead.

I am thankful for my husband’s health after he was diagnosed with heart disease. Why is this important? I am proud of his commitment to regular exercise, eating nutritious foods, and managing his stress levels. I am glad for my partnership with him and the deepening of our relationship as we navigate this new reality. Looking back at the progress he has made over the past year reminds me of the miracle of healing and that not all problems are insurmountable.

I am not pretending that problems don’t exist. Of course there are traumatic events that occur. However, I want to give my brain the option of developing pathways for positive experiences rather than assuming it will always default to the negative perspective.

I invite you to recognize the power of the brain and how it is never too late to form new pathways in how we view life. Together we can reframe the patterns that no longer serve us.

All the best as you travel this journey as a fellow human who is learning new possibilities for our brains.

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