In my first year of college, I read a poem in my English Literature class that turned my world, as I knew it, upside down.

The poem was by Marie Howe, and it was titled, “My Dead Friends.”

At the time, this poem was like a droplet of water in the desert for me. For the majority of my earlier years, I battled anxiety and depression; fearful of trying new and unfamiliar things and thinking that I wasn’t fortunate, smart, or capable enough to succeed at any endeavour or achieve great things.

When certain opportunities presented themselves, I often winced or cowered in the face of them, believing that it was unsafe to take them or that the cards were stacked against me. Several years later, however, I started to become increasingly aware of this pattern and how it wasn’t serving me.

Furthermore, after dealing with chronic fatigue and a toxic relationship for a number of years coupled with watching close extended family members pass away at relatively young ages, I eventually decided that it was high time for me to stop letting opportunities pass me by and start living life more fully and with intention. This is also when I decided, once and for all, to make happiness and joy a priority in my life.

In analyzing and reflecting on the lives of the people who passed away, I realized that many of them struggled with self-doubt, depression, and procrastination—three states of mind that were each all-too-familiar to me. This created a deep fear within me; a fear that I too would allow joy and happiness to elude me without ever having tasted their sweet nectar, and that perhaps I would one day die with my own fair share of regrets.

So, with that, I decided to look upon life as a gift and to stop taking it for granted forevermore.

One thing I have always heard from authors and testimonials from older people who really started to come into their own in their later years is that the only things they truly felt regretful about are not making their happiness a priority and neglecting the nudging of their heart toward the things they loved and most wanted to do with their time on this earth. Once again, this fuelled my desire to begin to follow my own heart, and if that meant standing by myself on an island of my own, then so be it.

It was also around this time that I started to ask myself what was truly important to me, and in searching my heart evermore, I came up with the following list in no specific order:

1. The natural world

2. Travelling

3. Creative self-expression

4. The acquisition of wisdom

5. Personal growth

6. Time to rest, play, and contemplate life

7. Freedom and being in charge of my own life and schedule

8. A proper work/life balance

9. A sufficient amount of solitude

What I realized after writing this list, however, is that what I seem to want most largely conflicts with what our culture and society deem important or worthwhile. By and large, we are told that consumerism, competition, and greed are what make the round, and that the acquisition of more and more material possessions holds the key to our happiness. Although I have never wanted to be poor or to renounce all worldly things and responsibilities, I’ve also known that I want more than just money and material goods; I want personal growth, wisdom, freedom, and the capacity to create from a deeper place within me.

Despite feeling alienated from the dominant culture and those whom so blindly follow it, I started putting my heart at the forefront of my life between 2022 and 2024 and the quality of my existence began to improve dramatically.

I began to take more road trips, make plans to work on creative projects, and spend time in nature on a regular basis. Slowly but surely, I started to experience a deeper sense of purpose, more calm, and more peace.

To this day, I still make it a point to ask myself, in each and every situation I find myself in, what would bring me the most joy as I have discovered more and more that joy is the flame that ignites both my mind and heart. I have also come to believe that it is through following our bliss that we begin to create more of what we want as our vibration rises. Suddenly, doors begin to open, introducing us to a world beyond our wildest imagination.

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