Have you heard of the Let Them Theory?

It’s more than just a concept—it’s a transformative mindset. While it can be challenging to apply at first, adopting this approach can greatly improve your life.

Let’s acknowledge Mel Robbins for popularising the Let Them Theory in her book Let Them. While she may not have originated the idea—my parents used it when raising me—her clear explanation makes it easier to practice. I appreciate Mel for putting into words a concept that’s long been present in our lives.

When I was not invited to a party my mom would say: Let them; they have the right to invite whom they want to. Then she would try to shift my mindset to something else—perhaps an activity that we could do together. But as adults, life is more complex than not being invited to an event.

Let Them theory enables us to handle situations outside our control and stop others from controlling our lives.

It centres on two concepts: Let Them and Let Me.

By letting others be themselves, you stop trying to control their actions or opinions—and free yourself from being controlled by them. When you say, “let me,” you control your own actions, decisions, and responses. This approach involves regaining personal agency and assuming responsibility for your choices. It is not possible to alter others, but it is possible to manage one’s own reactions.

To all reading this, how are you going to put the Let Them Theory to practice at work, in relationships, and anywhere? Trying to please others often leads to stress. Have you attempted to change your partner’s behaviour or treatment? Unfortunately, you likely cannot—now or in the future.

Let them and let you allow you to make an informed decision on how to respond. You can choose whether to be influenced by another’s opinion.

If a friend judges your choices, simply let them. If someone you just met ghosts you after a few dates, let them go and focus on moving on without stressing about it—even if it’s difficult.

Let’s put this theory to practice. Are you joining the Let Them club?

~