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The Law of Attraction is typically polarising.

Some lump new-age thinking and manifestation into the “woo woo” category, while others tout “high vibe only” culture.

YouTuber Clark Kegley recently posted a video—I QUIT New Age Thought (why I’m NEVER going back)—that got me thinking. Kudos to Clark for deleting his past new-age content (and 10 million views of videos) in line with his evolving beliefs and principles.

The Seduction of Manifestation

If I were to chart my belief in the Law of Attraction or manifestation over the years, you’d see something resembling a roller coaster. When I feel life is going well, I’m far more inclined to believe our thoughts create our reality and that, by focusing on what we desire, we can attract it into our lives. In my darkest moments, I turn on the concept and think to myself, Why would I deliberately attract this into my life?

In my view, it’s a slippery slope and downright unethical in some instances to peddle the notion that we somehow create everything that happens to us, including the most traumatic experiences of our lives. For me, this is where something intended to be empowering quickly becomes disempowering.

In its purest form, the Law of Attraction invites us to become conscious creators—to take responsibility for our inner world and recognise how energy and mindset shape our experiences. It encourages hope, self-awareness, and agency. It’s a reminder that how we feel matters. And in a world where intellect and thinking commonly take centre stage, I welcome any airtime that how we feel matters.

Like with most things in today’s fast-paced, 24/7 world, commercialism and monetisation have skewed the essence of the Law of Attraction, in my view. I use the terms “Law of Attraction” and “manifestation” interchangeably—as I suspect many of us who are not experts in this space but have some idea of the concept likely do. Others are better placed to explain the specific differences and nuances between them. Regardless, somewhere along the way, what started as an empowering concept became distorted. It was packaged into quick-fix formulas, a “high-vibe only” culture, and expensive courses promising to unlock the Universe’s secrets. What began as a tool for inner growth often gets used as a weapon of blame, shame, or spiritual bypassing.

Let’s explore more.

The Good: Conscious Creation, Alignment, and Gratitude

Isn’t life a much nicer experience when we believe we are conscious creators? When we believe that everything—even the things that do not seem ideal at a surface level—is happening for us rather than to us? I genuinely believe that our intentions and how we see the world impact our life experience. If we walk around expecting disappointment, we’re more likely to notice proof that life is against us. If we train our attention toward gratitude, opportunity, and possibility, our nervous system begins to soften, and we naturally attract more of what nourishes us. One thing that is certain, based on my own lived experience, is that when I walk around the world looking for evidence that I don’t belong and that I don’t matter, I always find tangible proof.

Recently, I had a major creative project fall through. It’s likely this piece of work will never see the light of day after investing many years, and much time, effort, and energy into it. This particular example is complex and involves many extenuating circumstances beyond my control. I’ve given everything I have to bring this project to life. I’ve worked on it for so long I’ve lost count of how many years have passed. When it dawned on me that I’d likely hit a dead end with this project, I was devastated. There are times when words cannot capture how we feel, and this was one of those moments. How could I have been so stupid to think this was actually happening? Why didn’t I do x, y, z? Perfectly understandable thoughts given the circumstance.

With time and space, I’ve come to wonder if that project not working out was the Universe looking after me. I love the movie “Sliding Doors,” but in life, we never get to see what happens if we turn left instead of taking the right. If this project were to progress, would it make or break me? I can’t ever know. Holding space for the possibility that the Universe has my back and is protecting me from something I can’t see is much better for my sanity than the alternative.

The Bad: When Positivity Becomes a Performance

We’ve all likely heard mantras like raise your vibration and stay in alignment.

I’m trained in a modality called embodied processing—a body-based approach to working with trauma. I am no trauma expert, but I’ve learned the basics about the nervous system and that because trauma occurs in the body, it must also be processed in the body. When we start to believe that feeling our feelings will “lower our vibration” or that all negative thoughts will inevitably manifest, suddenly, being human becomes a liability.

Our nervous systems are wired to experience the full range of emotions. Healing and growth often emerge from the very moments we may try to avoid for obvious reasons. Bypassing our emotions to remain “positive” and “in alignment” means we are abandoning ourselves in reality.

Mike Dooley’s teachings about manifestation resonate with me. While he teaches that we are powerful creators, he also acknowledges that we’re humans and will have times when we think negatively. I also appreciate how Mike doesn’t solely preach things like pretending you’re living your ideal outcome; he makes it clear we also have to take action. There’s no magical fairy dust involved.

The Ugly: The “Low Vibes” Shame Spiral

If we believe we are powerful creators, what happens when we don’t manifest our deepest desires—the successful business, financial abundance, health, or whatever else is on our wish list?

Taking into account my own experiences and having worked with so many women in midlife and beyond struggling for various reasons, in my view, the ugliest distortion of the Law of Attraction is how people feel shame because they are struggling. We can all agree that we’re living through challenging times. Beneath the surface, there aren’t many of us who aren’t struggling in some aspect of our lives.

In the online space, monetisation often depends on clickbait to attract more clicks, views, and engagement. This means the more dramatic or attention-grabbing the headlines and content are, the better. When we watch all the videos and do all the things influencers say to do but nothing changes for us, it’s easy to think we’re doing something “wrong,” or maybe we just didn’t believe in something deeply enough. It’s a slippery slope that ignores factors such as context, privilege, and circumstance.

The ugly truth is that the Law of Attraction is often weaponised against vulnerability. But in truth, and as Brené Brown would say, it’s in our vulnerability that real transformation occurs.

So, Where Does This Leave Us?

Some spiritual tools empower, while others disempower. For example, writing and journaling are my go-tos in life, but I never tell people they can journal their way out of poverty, oppression, grief, or whatever life circumstances they are facing. Journaling is a tool that allows us to remain connected with ourselves while we navigate life’s challenges.

Like with everything, I encourage people to use the teachings that help them and leave behind anything that feels disempowering. For me personally, it’s much more empowering to believe I am a conscious creator and that life is happening for me rather than to me.

Often, I feel the most magnetic thing we can do is to be present with life—all of it. The good. The bad. The ugly.

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