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“Privilege is not something to apologize for. It’s something to use well.”

I am not sure where I read this, but it spoke to me.

I’ve never been shy about acknowledging my privilege. Not the Instagram, #wanderlust, champagne-glass-and-a-sunset kind. I mean the real, structural, quiet kind. The kind that shows up as mobility, independence, choices, access, and the deep comfort of knowing that if life were to wobble, I have the stability (both internal and external) to steady myself.

I wasn’t born with all of it. But over the years, I have worked hard, tried to take advantage of every opportunity that life threw at me, intentionally lived lucky, and built a life that gives me room to breathe and move.

And for me, that privilege isn’t something to feel guilty about or shrink away from. That privilege is all about gratitude.

I practice gratitude on a daily basis. Literally, I say thank you every single day. As a part-time atheist, sometimes a theist, and 100 percent of the time agnostic, I say thank you to the universe that has brought me to this place in my life. I have consciously chosen to verbalize my gratitude for a few years now.

But recently, I have begun to find ways to give back. Doing so is a way for me to own up to the responsibility of being in such a privileged position. My gratitude is now intentional and purposeful—but never performative. It’s smaller. Consistent. More unglamorous than people realize.

It’s the daily ethic of asking: “Now that I have this, what am I going to do with it?”

Here are some ways I am doing it:

I constantly mentor younger colleagues, provide a kind and sympathetic ear to my peers and contemporaries, and always try to look at life through their lenses. Not because it earns me karma or brownie points, but because I remember being the younger one who could’ve used a steady hand, or yearning for someone who would just listen to me.

So, now, I listen. As much of a talker as I am, I’ve learned to be quiet and listen to everyone. All that most people want in today’s world is for someone who will actually pay attention, listen, hear, and support. I cannot tell you how easy this is, but still, few actually do it.

I share my wealth. Not just my literal wealth but my figurative wealth as well. I’m good with money, so I don’t waste it. But within the limits of what I can afford, I am generous. I am also generous with my time, contacts, and opportunities, because I know doors feel less heavy when someone holds one open for you. I also consciously give a part of my monthly income to causes that are near and dear to me (especially children).

I am mindful of how I speak about travel, independence, or money, because I know not everyone is as privileged as I am. Every single day, I am actively choosing empathy over intellectual arrogance, compassion over cleverness, and listening over asserting.

I also say thank you to the universe and refuse to partake in the famous narrative of “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps,” because that’s never the entire story. My moderate success in life is definitely because of my hard work, but also because of the several friends, family, colleagues, strangers, and acquaintances who helped me at various stages of my life.

I’ve also realized that privilege is about what I don’t do.

I no longer dominate conversations just because I can articulate my thoughts better or faster.

I no longer offer advice because sometimes all someone needs is my presence, not solutions.

I no longer take up space in rooms that aren’t meant for me, even if I could technically walk in and make myself at home.

And I never did this one thing, and I continue not to, which is to assume that my way of living (single, independent, untethered) is the blueprint for everyone else. It works for me because it’s mine. That’s all. I am all about “You do you, and I’ll do me. And we will cohabitate on this planet in peace.”

None of this makes what I do or who I am special. It just makes me accountable.

Because privilege, when used well, isn’t something you flaunt or hide. It’s something you live with intention.

Every. Single. Day.

~