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“It’s impossible. I can’t do it!”

I lower the weights and sit up slowly.

My arms are burning and I am feeling angry and discouraged. Behind me, I hear my trainer’s voice. “You may not be able to lift that amount of weight yet. You will get there. Don’t give up!”

I hardly hear her encouragement. All I seem to be able to do is focus on what I see as weakness in myself. Why does it take me so long to increase my weight load for lifting? What is wrong with me?

I completed the rest of my workout and stormed home. After a nourishing meal and hot shower, I noticed a glimmer of objectivity about my experience. I thought back to when I first started my weight training journey over three years ago. I have come a long way. I am stronger and more confident than when I started.

My mind drifted to other areas of my life when I was tempted to give up. I wondered if my weight training had some parallels to the rest of my life. As I focused on the process of working out at the gym and being challenged to improve my strength, I realized that there were many similarities to my life outside the exercise clinic.

I had no idea when I started my gym membership that my life would be affected in so many areas.

Join me as I reflect on the life lessons I am discovering on my weight lifting journey.

1. Comparison is the thief of success and pleasure. There is always someone who is stronger than I am. They make it look so easy, and I am tempted to feel awkward and inept. I am doing the best I can, and I will get stronger. My confidence increases as I remind myself that I am on a unique path rather than seeing it as a competition. The same is true as I go about my activities such as writing, painting, or relating to my family. My path is my own, and I am living my life based on my desires and values.

2. There is a phrase in the weight lifting world that I struggled to understand. “Lifting to Failure.” I resisted this idea until I learned that it meant lifting until I had no more to give. Pushing my muscles to their maximum, and stopping when I reached that point. This is how my body gets stronger. How do I look at failure in other areas of my life? How often do I keep from trying something new for fear of not being successful? What might my life look like if I see challenges as possibilities for growth and success, instead of being judgmental of myself for not getting it right the first time? I just may develop new skills and experience adventures and playful times that bring me pleasure.

3. Taking a risk can be scary when I think about lifting heavier weights. What if they fall on me? What if I damage my muscles? I remind myself that my trainer is spotting me, and that there is more risk of weakened muscles if I don’t increase my load. The same is true for the rest of my life. There are things I long to try and I know that they could be seen as risky. Is the cost worth it? What is the point of investing in taking a course when I am already retired? Is the trip I want to take suitable for a woman like me? When I continue to think in this way, I can be a failure before I even try. I look back over my life and realize I have been successful after taking risks in my career and in our family choices. This gives me confidence to move ahead now.

4. Speed is not my goal when I am lifting weights. Slow, controlled movements while using the correct form are the key to success. Often I rush through chores and errands in my daily life and I feel frazzled and impatient. I am practicing giving myself more time to get to an appointment. I focus on taking deep breaths as I wait at a traffic light. My body relaxes and I enjoy the moment.

5. When I am lifting weights, I have learned the importance of paying attention to the muscles I am working on. I coordinate my breath with each repetition. When I am distracted, there is increased risk of injury and decreased benefit. I used to be the “Queen of Multitasking.” I would pride myself in how much I could accomplish in a day. What I discovered is that this led to exhaustion and often a scorched pan on the stove while I quickly checked the laundry. These days I am experimenting with one task at a time. Making a pot of soup becomes a meditative moment of chopping vegetables and inhaling the fragrance of onions and garlic as they simmer on the stove. Being “single-minded” brings me joy and peace.

6. Consistency is crucial to a successful strength-building program. When I first began my program to learn to lift weights, I was sceptical. It seemed my routine would never lead to what I envisioned as “being a weight lifter.” Of course it took time. I worked out regularly. I trusted the instructions I was given. I kept going. And, it has brought me results. I am strong and feel empowered. The same is true in other aspects of my life. Projects that I consider insurmountable become manageable when I take one step at a time. Years ago, I went back to university to get my nursing degree. I was often overwhelmed and discouraged. Day by day, I worked at the assignments and was able to complete my courses. Remembering this helps me to see myself as capable in this moment. Consistency is key to success for so many things, and I continue to be reminded of that.

7. Celebration is integral to my weight training experience. The gym I attend has a Wall of Celebration where members post their wins. These include a variety of events. Some are small steps. Some are big achievements. All are significant. I often take a moment to read the messages before my workout. I am inspired and encouraged to keep moving forward. This reminds me about the power of celebration in other parts of my life. In my coaching training, we had a ritual for celebrating with each other. I came to realize that it was not about “bragging” or being better than someone else. It was a time to build each other up and joyfully acknowledge the gifts we saw in each other. I am honoured to continue this with friends even now.

Sharing these insights with you has been inspiring for me. I am motivated to keep on lifting weights and applying what I am learning at the gym in the other parts of my life. I trust that you are encouraged to examine your own experience and look for ways your different activities connect to make your life more meaningful and joyful.

I would be delighted to hear your stories about this. Thank you for reading and sharing with me.

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