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{Caution: adult content and language ahead!}

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Get on board, and follow me on a trip around the world, as I discuss pussy hygiene.

During my travels throughout the various continents of the world, I picked up a few tips and tricks that help me keep my nether regions happy and healthy. Being susceptible to urinary tract infections, I have to pay special attention to cleanliness down there.

Please note, that as usual, the web will offer plenty of articles claiming differently. I simply write from my own experience and am very well aware that things can work differently for others.

For those interested, let’s get the journey started!

Welcome to Brazil!

According to Wikipedia, Brazilian waxing is named after the seven Brazilian Padilha sisters, who started a salon in Manhattan in 1987. A full Brazilian wax involves the removal of all pubic hairs, including the ones between the buttocks. For esthetic purposes, some ladies like to leave a thin strip of hair on the mons pubis.

I only started going for the “full monty” a few years ago. Up until that time, I was happy simply shaving my bikini line and trimming the remainder of my hairy bits.

It was a bit weird—the first time I got rid of all the pubes. Looking down, it felt as if I was looking at the private parts of an eight-year-old, which also made me kind of suspicious of my boyfriend’s (now husband) preferences, as he was in favor of me going for the “full works.” However, within a few days I got used to it, and I’ve never looked back since.

It feels so much cleaner and fresher—being hair free down there!

Whether I wipe or wash after visiting the toilet—more on the benefits of washing later—bush-less privates just seem easier to keep clean. There are those who claim that pubic hair helps to protect the vagina from bacteria entering and creating havoc, an argument which I can appreciate. However, I would rather clean properly, than walk around with bacteria living in my pubes—hence the benefits of washing, but as I said, I will deal with that taboo later.

Hairless in Egypt.

Funnily enough, my first full Brazilian wax was actually done in Egypt. It wasn’t called a Brazilian of course. I went to see an old, head-scarfed lady who didn’t speak English. The room was grubby, and I’m not sure when the towel I was lying on was last washed. But when she pointed at my left leg and waved with her hand in the air while talking to me in Arabic—which I do not understand—I lifted my leg and spread it all out for her. She got rid of the unwanted hairs in the blink of an eye.

With her bare hand—without cloth strips or any other tools—the old lady spread Halawa on my skin and pulled it off with short, resolute jerks, removing the shortest and thinnest hairs in the process. Almost painless. She is still my favourite waxing therapist.

Halawa, meaning “sweet” in Arabic and called “Sugar Wax” in the West, is a thick caramel-like paste of melted sugar, lemon juice and water. Removal of body hair with Halawa is a century old tradition in Egypt and other Middle Eastern countries.

The day before her wedding, for example, a bride will be waxed with Halawa from top to toe, back to front—and where possible—in and out too. Facial hair will mostly be removed by threading, another fantastic hair removing technique for the finer fluff. Leaving only the eyebrows, the eyelashes and the hairs on her head—the bride will be as smooth as a baby on the day that her husband will get to touch her for the first time. (Theoretically speaking, that is.)

Unlike other types of waxing, Halawa is super soft on the skin and—as it does not contain any chemicals—will never burn the skin. Therefore, it’s perfect for sensitive skin. Oh, and it’s eco-friendly too!

Whenever I can’t get any Halawa done and have to resort to regular waxing—or even worse, the epilator—I immediately notice the difference. My skin is left redder and bumpier, my softer lady parts feel more tender, I have more in-grown hairs the days after, and I have pain in my jaw muscles from grinding my teeth during the treatment.

With an experienced Halawa waxer, the traumatic event of “Area 51 hair removal” actually becomes a bearable experience.

And why don’t I shave, fast and painless, you say? Because the thought alone of the sharp pointy hairs growing back makes me want to scratch my crotch like an Italian truck driver. That’s why.

Washing in Asia.

Permit me to get even more graphic. Imagine that, for some very strange and unexplainable reason, you got pee on your hair and your face. Or worse, poo. Human poo. Your own poo. Don’t worry about the how. Just imagine that it happened.

Now would you take a piece of toilet paper, quickly wipe your fringe, forehead—or wherever the urine or fecal matter got you—and then merrily go about your business? Or would you perhaps scream, “Yuck!” and run to the shower to wash hair and face, and maybe even use some soap and shampoo to feel presentable again?

Now transpose this image to your anal and genital area—hair or no hair. We all pee and poo, let’s not be shy about that. And then we wipe it off with a piece of paper and think we’re all good. Yeah right. Remember those bacteria having a party in your pubes? The party ain’t over just because we rubbed ourselves with a piece of dry paper.

In Asia, and in many Middle Eastern countries too, they understand what I’m talking about. No toilet paper—but big buckets with water and a scoop, or a bum shower, is all they need. And in some European countries, the use of the bidet is still common as well. Most of the people I discuss this topic with however, pull a horrified face at the thought of having to use their hand to wash themselves, even after a little number one. For me it’s just plain common sense that washing is more hygienic than wiping.

There is nothing like pulling your pants up after a good wash—those who have traveled in Asia and had spicy food will concur, I am sure. And once I got used to that, there was no going back either.

So now that I have put some of my most intimate habits in writing, I am going to take a deep breath and press “submit” for sharing my secrets on the World Wide Web.

Relephant:

Brazilian Waxing as Spiritual Practice. 

How to be in harmony with our body and mind:

Author: Yaisa Nio

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

Photo: Flickr/Ludo; Flickr/Nic McPhee 

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