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When we meet our twin flame, we feel it in our core.

Not in our heart, nor in our head. That’s the best way to describe it. We just know. It’s like a lightning bolt and it shakes our entire being.

So what are twin flames, and how do you know when you’ve found yours?

Twin flames are two souls who find themselves inexplicably drawn to one another by a g-force so strong, it elevates you to a whole new plane of existence that is at once delicious, overwhelming, and a complete white-knuckle ride.

Like two opposing ends of a magnet, it’s an irresistible union often unknowingly comprised of a narcissist and an empath. Narcissistic tendencies in one partner can, unfortunately, be disguised as empathy, but on closer inspection of their psyche and belief system, you come to realise that they are only capable of caring for themselves. They do not compromise, they are defensive toward your expressions of thought and emotion, but they fool you with actions that tell you they care for you more than anyone else does, maybe even more than you care for yourself. I’ve had a few such boyfriends, and more recently discovered my own twin flame. I am a huge empath; therefore, the lessons I’ve learned have been hard.

As someone in the Empowering Empaths, a community I belong to, observed, “Your twin flame wears a charismatic mask to reel you in; then, once you’re hooked, the cancer begins.”

Finding your twin flame can be an exhilarating and enriching experience. You may be lucky enough to experience it in this lifetime. But equally, you must be aware that immersing yourself in this most powerful of unions can leave you burnt out and depleted if you don’t take measures to safeguard your heart, body, and soul.

If you are lucky enough to meet yours, these are the lessons I hope you can draw from:

#1. Your twin flame is not “The One.”

Understand that a twin flame is not “The One” you want to be building a life with. They are the ones you have no choice but to love to your core, but you must identify this early and keep your wits about you.

#2. You have an intense psychic connection.

You share the same energy, consciousness, passion, have the best sex of your life, and an uncontrollable need to be close to each other. Even on the other side of the world, you are still psychically connected. I was in Australia recently and could still communicate with mine in London without even picking up my phone. We even shared a dream whilst sleeping beside each other. To call it intense would be an understatement.

#3. You’ll gain spiritual expansion.

This relationship is all about tremendous spiritual growth. However, it’s unlikely you will grow at the same pace, or even reach the same level of consciousness in order to be together in this lifetime. It’s beautiful; it’s strong; it’s destructive—and it hurts. It’s, all at once, your heaven and your hell, and you will never experience anything like it again. So don’t lose yourself in chasing this dream of the most perfect love. This is not it. This is a union of growth, and together you can do great things, but only if you grow at the same pace.

#4. Choose a soulmate over a twin flame.

Realise that a soulmate is more likely to give you the solid, loving, honest relationship that you desire and deserve, so keep your heart open to these precious people instead. They are available to you en masse, but you have the choice to pick the right one. A soulmate connection is just as powerful, but it’s felt in a softer way. One that won’t upend your entire centre of gravity like a twin flame will.

A soulmate will love you to your bones and care for you as much as they care for themselves, with love and respect. I have many soulmates, male and female, and I love falling in love with them. These are your friends, your tribe, and your past and future lovers. But seek out the right one to form a life partnership with, and take your time.

#5. Find someone who chooses you back.

Don’t confuse love with lust. Falling in love is easy, but an enduring love requires choice, effort, and tenacity. Wait for someone who chooses you back and do not settle for anything less. Don’t chase, don’t hurry, and don’t force anything into your life. I love the saying, “If you have to force it, it’s probably sh*t.” And we don’t need any more sh*t in our lives or out there in the world.

I wish you luck on your journey of love and growth and hope that this has resonated and helped you in your quest.

If you want to know more about the topics of discipline, love, and beliefs, I would recommend The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. Also, feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions on this topic. I would love to know your thoughts and any further insight you can add.

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