How to Love Yourself Through Adversity

Loving oneself does not always come naturally.

In fact, we are more prone to pick out the problems than to think positively.

When hardship happens, we tend to be harder on ourselves. Yet, we are kinder to others when they are going through something. Why not be kinder to ourselves? Why not use self-love as a tool to navigate adversity?

Then, we can truly find our purpose. You just have to let go and let love in.

Rather than fight yourself, find yourself.

It’s not easy. If you have been neglected emotionally or have fallen apart due to life’s obstacles, it can be hard to learn to love yourself. In these moments is when it is most crucial we love ourselves.

It starts by looking within. If you’ve had trouble loving yourself for a long time, can you remember when it first started? What triggers you to look yourself in the mirror and not like what you see? It all starts with acceptance.

When you accept yourself, you no longer rely on others to accept you. You instead feel good because you are good. Not because you’re waiting on someone to tell you that you’re good.

You only have one life, so you need to live it.

Self-love helps us to prosper, but it doesn’t solve every mistake. You will still find fault in yourself. You will still experience failure. But what you don’t have to do is beat yourself up over it.

You win by leading a life with dignity and love. It’s about your values. That’s what creates your vision for who you are. Once you have a set of priorities, you can start to seek purpose. If you are lost, know that the detour may prove to have many insights that you can use for the road ahead. The destination is made from your gumption and what you can give.

Look to yourself for the approval that you crave. Instead of waiting to hear someone else say your worth, tell the world, “I am worthy.” If someone doubts that worth, tell the world, “Watch me.” Use it all as fuel to follow your dreams.

You don’t have to have all the answers to start loving yourself. You just need to love yourself for who you are, flaws and all, and recognize the small wins. When you are experiencing adversity, this becomes everything. Yet many of us run from ruin. You must rise from it.

Failure will happen. You will make mistakes. You will lose your footing. You will follow the wrong path here and there. You will become undone at times by struggle and strife. You will lose your wit. You will doubt your ambitions. You will question your relationships.

You can overcome this. How? By letting yourself be human.

When you let yourself be human, you know that you are worth fighting for. You know that you don’t have to be defined by the mistakes you made but by how you recover from them. You know that love is not a prize to be won and that everyone is deserving of it. You know that you can harbor guilt toward the past and anxiety toward the future—that will not change them.

Love yourself. Just love yourself because, sometimes, that is all you can do. You don’t have to have it all figured out.

When adversity strikes, you do not have to fall. You can choose to own your story and your struggle. You can decide that life is worth living, and you are worth loving. You can make a new ending toward your path. You can recognize an ending as a beginning, no matter how hard. And most of all, you can sit with your feelings, with your problems, with your pain, and not feel inadequate. After all, this is your story.

What you leave behind in this world is a legacy of love. What you do in love, you will be remembered by. You will know truth not by what you’re feeling—as feelings can be deceiving—but by what you decide.

You must decide, “I will stay here. I matter.” And not let yourself believe your mind’s lies.

Lastly, when you are struggling to survive, know that there is hope for you. And one day, you can share hope with others who long to be like you, who look up to you.

Because everything you do matters. You were meant to be here, whether or not you always feel like it.

When you love yourself, you are letting the world know you are not the one who stops. You can love yourself into the light you are. A light that will shine for others. A light that can pave a way. A light that you can feel, even when in the dark, because it is within you.

You can show the world that light.

Every obstacle is an opportunity to do just that. Take your strife in stride. And remember, you are meant to be who you are. Your uniqueness, your differences from others—may be staples of genius.

All that matters is that you tell yourself you are worth fighting for. When you do, others are reminded to view you that way. They are reminded to view that about themselves, too.

They are only able to express so much, so you may not always hear the right words you crave to accept self-love. But what you can do is give back. Giving is partially receiving love, but that’s not the reason we do it. You don’t owe anyone your time or energy. You only owe yourself the chance to figure out what all you can be.

That takes time. That takes diligence. That takes strength. That takes everything in you.

Most of all, it takes love. Love will lead you, so let it.

You never know where you may end up.

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