Fellatio – blow job, Bj, giving head, hummer, whatever you want to call it. Oral sex is here to stay, and if your game and perfect some skills, you will never have to remind him to take out the trash.

Ladies, it’s time to set the mood, and I don’t mean lounging idly on the sofa in your worn-out sweats, binge-watching The Tiger King. Nothing can kill a mood faster than Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin’s septic tank drama. The sexual lead-up has to start hours before my darlings. You see, sexual arousal is not only physical, but it can be highly cerebral as well, and the lead-up to all things naughty starts in our minds.

First and foremost

Girls, send him flirty and provocative texts throughout the day and tell him you can’t stop thinking of him. Or before he goes off to work, sneak your panties in his jacket, then send him a text and tell him you put a little surprise gift in his pocket. You can also Mention what you would love to do to him when he gets home. Basically, tease the living shit out of him.

And so it begins…

A good blowjob is more than just sucking. Your tongue should be rolling, twirling, and swirling the entire time, basically a dance party in your mouth. Sometimes I like to visualize that I’m devouring the most delicious gelato. Taking long, hard licks, then laying my tongue flat, wide and soft on his shaft. You can even hum your favorite Queen song (aka the hummer ); the vibrations will add an extra sensation to his already happy penis.

All Hands On Deck

Yes, your tongue and mouth are the lead actors in this soiree. Still, you got to show some love, ladies, and use your hands as well. Make sure you are well lubricated and don’t be afraid to use some spit. Saliva is a must for a good hand job. Once you got the waterworks in play, make a ring connecting your thumb and index finger around his shaft. Use your thumb to stimulate his frenulum, which is one of the most erogenous zones on his body and is similar to our clitoris. While holding his penis, make a slow circular motion with the tip of your tongue around the head. This is a good time to kiss his inner thighs or behind his knees, softly biting and sucking his flesh. Then going back to his penis and repeating these steps,

Talk is cheap, and that’s a good thing.

Yes, men love when you tell them what you will do to them, like the dirty little boys they are. Don’t be afraid to ask him if this feels good? Do you like it like this? Do you want me to go slower or faster? Harder or softer?  Visuals are essential. Let him see how much you are enjoying pleasing and teasing him. Nothing turns your man on more than watching you pleasing him. You can even throw in, “Sucking you off turns me on, and when I’m done with you, it’s my turn, Or  “My hands are too busy. Can you take off my bra and panties?” Tell him to grab your hair, which will help if you don’t have a scrunchie to tie it all back. Dick and hair don’t mesh well together.

Play Ball

Girls, you can’t ignore his balls. They will feel left out, and no one likes to feel left out, certainly not his cojones. I know a lot is going on, and your mouth and hands are already impersonating a David Copperfield impression. Still, I’m telling you his testes need some loving too. You really can’t go wrong licking and sucking his balls and scrotum. Every guy is different, and they have their own pressure preference. You can put a whole testicle in your mouth and make out with it, or; you could gently suck on his scrotum. Either way, be very careful down there. This is not a time to inflict any pain unless you’re into that kind of play. One more thing, please show love for his perineum. The perineum is the space between his tushie and his scrotum. Exceptionally arousing for your guy, try massaging and putting light pressure with your thumb.

Food for thought?

Who is old enough to remember the iconic scene in 9 1/2 weeks by the fridge? If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you are way too young to be reading this article, or I’m way too old to be writing this article. Either way, it’s always fun to bring savory treats to your fellatio shindig.

Fun Fact: Ice can also prolong your ability to withhold orgasm, thus leading to a heightened state of sexual arousal.

You can also use Ice on and around his nipples.

Honey, caramel, strawberry, popsicle juice, any kind of cream, including ice cream, would be a bonus, especially if you skimped on dessert. The warmth of your mouth mixed with the cold sensation of the ice cream will bring him to the edge. If food is too messy, you can always use ice or even a hot beverage.

It also helps the medicine go down if you don’t like the taste of his cum. However, nothing makes a man prouder than his lady swallowing his seed.

So there you have it, ladies, set the mood, dim the lights, pull your hair back, stock the fridge,  and blow your man into next year, and I promise you the rubbish will take itself out.