Now that you are gone, who will catch me when I fall?

When I am spiraling into the abyss because my anxiety has taken over and I can’t seem to crawl out on my own, who will pull me to safety?

Who will be there as I struggle through another panic attack until I can finally breathe again?

When the dark thoughts in my mind creep out of the hidden recesses where they hide, who will be there to help me chase them away?

You were my rock. You were the only person who knew how to bring me back to reality and calm my muddled, racing mind.

You would sit on the phone with me for hours if that’s what it took. That must have been exhausting for you, but you never made me feel like it was. You told me that you didn’t care how long it took, you only wanted to make sure I was okay. God, I loved you so much for that.

You would make me feel safe and secure in that calm way that you had about you.

That’s when I felt most loved. Because you cared enough to stay by my side and weather the storm that raged inside me.

But you are gone now—which means I will have to catch myself when I start to fall.

I will have to find a way to crawl out of the abyss when I am spiraling down. I will have to find a way to breathe on my own and calm the thoughts that race through my head.

Somehow I did this before you, but it was so much easier when you were by my side.

I have to believe that I am strong enough to do this without you.

As I now pass through the storm on my own, I know that when the skies clear, there will be a beautiful calm on the other side.