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October 19, 2022

I am Yearning to be Honey

I used to be soft

I used to be warm

I used to feel like the sun warming your face

Like a gentle breeze kissing you hello

I used to remind you of honey

Hummingbirds, nectar, and golden hour come to mind

I used to laugh with sweet abandon just like all those beautiful novels say

The sweetness and wildflowers would radiate out of me

I used to be cozy

I used to have my eyes coated in adore and wonder

When did I become ice?

When did I get these hard edges?

When did I become frigid and harsh?

There were too many cracks the honey couldn’t hold

The ice had to come in

It is cold but ice can be beautiful, too

It can shimmer in the light and glow under the moon

But it is most beautiful from a distance

When it is not breaking under pressure

When it is not breaking into sharp edges

When it is not under your tires, sliding you away from control

When it is not weak and having you fall under

When did I become this?

I know why, but when?

When did I let the cold come in and live inside me?

When did I let the honey become frozen, shattered, and gone?

When did the warmth fall under, when did it lose the fight?

The ice is here and I feel it

I want to warm it, I don’t want it to feel unwelcome anymore

I want to melt it

I want to be an iceberg, melting and flowing into warmer seas

I want to take the kettle off the stove and welcome the honey in with steam

The ice was beautiful for a time

The ice was strong for a time

The ice was my fortress for a time

I am ready to melt

I am yearning to be honey

I want to seep into your tea and make your morning sweeter

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