I know our relationship wasn’t perfect, but I want you to know deep inside I loved you, I still do. I dearly wanted you to be so much more. For once I wanted to feel loved, cherished, cared for in a way I never experienced in my previous life.

And throughout all those longings I lost track and failed to see what you really were.

You were „just“ my therapist and I remember how much it hurt every time people said „she‘s not your mum, not your friend, she‘s only your therapist.“

All the times I sat home crying, all the times I missed you inbetween sessions, all the times I dearly wished things were different.

Mabey it’s your warm smile, your caring, all the kindness that you reflected to me in sessions and your wish to want the best for me (just like a loving mum does for her child). The feeling I had when I knew you do care a lot, mabey more than a therapist is responsible for.

Even when I got angry at you and conversations turned into arguments I loved you.

You‘re still making your experiences as a young therapist and you made mistakes which a therapist should not do, especially when dealing with patients with childhood trauma like me. And even if transition is close and I know I will have a wonderful trauma informed new therapist to

work through my wounds, it‘s hard to say goodbye.

You will forever have a special place in my heart because despite the often dysfunctional therapeutic relationship I learned a lot for my future.

Mabey it was supposed to go this way so you and I both learn something new about ourselves which could benefit us in the future.

Mabey our ways will cross again sometime in the future and we‘ll get a chance to make it right.

In my heart you‘re someone much more close and meaningful. Yes theoretically you were „only my therapist“ but in my heart you were like the mum I never had.

It’s hard to say goodbye. I really do love you.