We tend to be unconscious of behaviors that are causing pain and unnecessary suffering in our lives.

If we could just become more conscious of behaviors that are leading to the pain in our lives, we would be a lot happier. Today we can start giving up some of the things in our life that are causing this conflict.

1. Stop complaining.

Don’t find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain.
~ Henry Ford

Nobody wants to be around someone who complains all the time. Yet we all do it. Instead of finding a reason to complain, look for the solution if you’re facing a problem. Look for something positive in your life. There’s always something positive to find in our life if we shift our focus.

2. Stop Judging.

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.
~ Paulo Coelho

Stop judging other peoples lives and focus on perfecting your own life. We spend so much time gossiping rather than working on perfecting ourselves. Focus on your own life, and how you’re going to perfect it.

 3. Stop avoiding your fear.

Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.
~ Rumi

Fear is an obnoxious thing—it slows you down from finding a career you love, a romantic relationship and pursing your dreams. Do something that makes you uncomfortable every day, in small steps, and it will dramatically alter the course of your life.

4. Stop being so hard on yourself.

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
~ African Proverb

The biggest enemy that you face is the one inside you—this enemy criticizes, condemns, and complains. Don’t let these unconscious patterns run your life.

Come to terms with these patterns. The biggest enemy you ever have to face is the one inside of you.

5. Stop being negative.

Misery loves company.
~ Anonymous

If you focus on being negative it’s going to show up everywhere in your life. It will show up in your work, relations and everything else. Shift your focus away from being so negative all the time. Find things that make you come alive!

6. Stop caring about what other people think of you.

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.
~ Lao Tzu

Every great artist, musician, political leader, ignored what people thought of them. Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business. What people think of you should not drown out your own inner voice and inspirations.

7. Stop worrying about the small stuff.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.
~ Winston Churchill

Think about all the unnecessary worries that go through your mind all day. We worry about why someone is not returning our emails, texts, phone calls. We worry about everything and anything.

Focus on what you can do at the present moment and not about how you can worry about the outcome.

8. Stop needing to be right all the time.

The need to be right all the time is the biggest bar to new ideas. It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
~ Edward De Bono

Stop needing to be right all the time, this can lead to so many unnecessary arguments. Instead of needing to be right, start working on being more open to other peoples opinions. Start asking more questions and become more interested in other people’s points of view. It may open a whole new dimension of life.

9. Stop blaming others.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.
~ George Bernard Shaw

We constantly blame everyone for all types of different things. Quit blaming other people for your circumstances. If you want to change something go out and do it! Don’t blame someone for your present day situations.

10. Stop living in the past or the future.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.
~ Henry David Thoreau

So much of our attention is on past experiences or on how we will be in the future. Focus your mind on the present moment. We would be so much happier if we placed our attention on the present.

Relephant:

10 Things that are Secretly Making you Unhappy.

Relephant bonus: The simple Buddhist trick to being happy:

It’s simple, but hard:

Editor: Lynn Hasselberger

photo: flickr.com | moonjazz; Flickr

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