Choices abound
Knowing thyself
Should help me discover

What to choose
Where to go
Who to be
And not please others

I can agree upon many perspectives
And see various ways to go about

Yet I slide into judgements of those
Who see differently than me

How could anyone not want what is best for all?
I wonder…

I get along well with most
Can go with the flow
Am easy going and even keeled

Then can rage
At someone else’s choice
That interferes

With who I am
In this sea of contrary?

Stripped of all my titles
Many things remain in vision

I am warm and compassionate
I can empathize to a detriment

I absorb feelings of others
Confusing my relationship inward

Unwavering now
I can declare a boundary
To protect my inner stare

I can be cold, blunt, and abrasive
When threatened
Back me into a corner
And I will vanish

Needing time to unwind
All the ways I disparage

Lightning fast thoughts zip
My mind’s the cage contained

Where I lean in to gauge
My rage

Not so much in my heart or belly
This Gemini is about
All the personalities
In my own psyche

Fear headlines all others
Makes me retreat into sadness

Flee in distaste of grief
A wimp I won’t fight
Will wallow
And swallow tears
Until my well is dry

Saturn’s placement tells me it is my karma
To outwardly express
Those saddest tears oppressed

From childhood

Old wounds are not uncommon
It is up to me
To voice the horrific actions of Men
Or Women
Who abuse their power
And strip innocence
From prepubescent years yonder

I have denied emoting
To get the gumption
Of unloading
This injustice
To lead
Others to see, through me
They too can be courageous

I stand up for what’s right
Will declare war in delight
Yet secede not needing to compete
Will also gladly give up a fight

When it’s useless, unproductive
I don’t think it’s important to be right

Kindness held tight to my choices
To challenge the inner critic, the Judge, I wonder

What’s on the other side
Of that mean girl I hold in the darkest corner?

Who says things like “you’re unworthy”
“Those things are not for you to receive”

Fuming smoke
Explode from my ears
Over the years
Of unreleased tears

Did I stutter?
Did you not hear?
I am confident in here!

Unveil my compassion
My quick wit
And deep satisfaction
Of a conversation
I hold with demons
And also see the dreams
Of my wildest visions

I don’t feel a need to win
Could care less about any trophy
But success drives me forward
While approval from others
Weighs on my shoulders

I do deserve love,
Joy in the present
No matter how much
Of my life was unpleasant!

Years alone, not lonely
Now can appreciate a date
I’m in search of

A helper
A partner
Someone who gets me

And wants to discuss far away lands
And cosmic transmissions
How I feel like an alien
And just like every other human

I daydream of transcending this body
For it holds tightly
Onto my story

I dream of my matter to merge into the collective
Pure freedom, an endless vast surrender

Everyone needs a community in which to share openly
To unpack the haunts of past dates
And relate

I hold space for people to gather
I want to share and temp fate
Yet will block out the world
And dissociate

Push you away and deny myself joy
Letting pride get in the way

To be alone

I often argue with my twin
Whether to invite people in 

Then end up letting solitude win

My best friend being natures song
Singing my praises and shouting my flaws

All of my parts and oppositions
Were written in the stars

I want to share time
But don’t enjoy most conversations
I love to talk and listen

Yet don’t want to hear
What most have to say
Not because it is hard to hear
I like those discussions

I want to evolve, eagerly meet my dharma
It is the surface shit I tend to walk away from

Don’t tell about the weather
Bring me into the abyss of your wounds

Your dark thoughts and pain
Are what awaken my ears

We can find comfort in each other
I’m happy to lift you up
Or show you the mirror

I want to hear your perspective
Philosophy uncovered
To what can be discovered 

The tangible things bore me
Unless they don’t
Earthly possession don’t thrill me
As much as Mother’s wonders

Like the mycelium mushroom network underground
Transferring information amongst the trees
Share nutrients and working together
To foster health for the group

It is in community
Where we can let our hearts bleed

I want to speak truths and tell all
But will you catch me if I fall?

I trust everything and everyone without question
It has been a life lesson
To discern who is truly deserving
Of my attention

Have a hard time trusting my own gut
Or internal compasses direction 

Yet in one second in person
Get electric information

Of knowing

I’m afraid to be seen as stupid
Or even worse, wrong

Yet useless words
Quite often
Spill from my tongue 

Dangling there
People stare
It isn’t rare
To be met with others
Glaring judgmental opinion

Of my worst idea
Biggest failure
Or even my highest accomplished mission

I want to be close
But find I cower in long hugs
An unfamiliar comfort
Do I deserve to stay longer?

I want to cuddle my head
Rested upon a chest
Feel another’s heart
Their soft exhale
Rustle my hair

Then alone retire
Back to my bed
And blank stare

It is in this void of solitude
I swim fearlessly and happy

Also ready to meet someone
With equal parts
Of excitement and anxiety 

Everyday I think:
Is this when they will greet me?