After a stressful holiday I meet a friend to unwind and debrief. Walking in to the restaurant I am greeted  by a waiter who greets me with a smile saying ” you are the writer” I don’t miss a beat and recall our conversation six months past when we discussed love and dating. I  smile and say ” yes”. Internally I did an inventory as it felt strange to be addressed as such and powerful and kind of earth shaking. You see here in my :urbanish” community I am known by my day job and not by my creative pursuits. This can kind of feel like a double life.

The evening continued with more banter and intrigue. A friendly exchange and one that made me yearn for more male companionship and male friendship. As a single woman this is hard to come by for obvious reasons It is hard for men and women to be friends at least when there is attraction felt by one side.

The past weeks have been hard I say to myself and my friend. I know she thinks I was flirting with the waiter and she gives me signs and signals to relay this. The thing is I wasn’t flirting I was simply being myself and friendly. ” He doesn’t want to talk to us” she sighs and he hears and shares the opposite. I smile and shrug my shoulders and glance back and forth.

This just keeps getting better I think to myself. I wonder should I ask if he wants to join us for a drink after he is done? I want more. ” I know this week has been hellish” my friend gushes and looks around. I nod in agreement. Middle age transitions are hard and so is this post covid work. Life as we know it has changed forever. Our conversation cycles from work to men and then back to work again. We both move to house and home and managing stressful events such as basement floods and home repairs. Contractors and service men might be our only male contact. Our world has changed and phone and texting during early dating is reduced to the virtual to either hook you in or weed out. I can tell by my friend’s  behavior that she is appalled by my socializing with the waiter. I comment ” waiter banter’ it is their job to schmooze. She gives up or in and smiles looking his way. ” Dating” is exhausting she gushes and I nod.

I share that the nicest words that I have heard this year have come from men who have no investments or anything to gain from their positive feedback and vibes. This is needed now more than ever. Let’s face it being a single woman at any age is difficult now add middle age and we have extra edge. On the flip side we know what we want.

The truth is sometimes the nicest words you will ever hear are from a stranger. I have no idea where I am going. I have my lists of life experiences that I am crossing off and rewriting. Love is everywhere if you look long and hard and sometimes it isn’t what you expect.

Tonight I share this with my friend and the waiter. I really think that when we stop searching and start living that life and love fall in line. I ask them both to open their eyes to love.  I suggest that they look for it in the people around you and give it to those who you think need it. A smile, gesture or a laugh can go a long way. I ask the waiter how his last date went and he responds” she isn’t ready but we are still friends and enjoying each other’/. I smile and nod. Timing is everything in life and maybe like the song says ” we can’t hurry love we just need to wait”. Six months ago this young waiter was excited about a new girl he had just met and felt there was ” a spark”.
” Being a waiter is cool enough though” he musters and I grin. ”  You get to see love every day and deep down I know that love is always near”.. My heart sighs and so does my friend and few tears well up in our eyes. The sweet reminders that love is near is often in the simple exchanges and the ordinary moments in your day.