It was a gym day so I was extra happy. It was my best subject. I also liked it because it was alphabetical and I was close to the letter A so I often got to go first and I was close to the teacher in my spot to stretch. I was a total teacher’s pet. One time she told me I was a smarty pants and I cried. Her opinion meant a lot to me as you can see. I also didn’t understand what she meant by it. She laughed when I cried because it took her so much by surprise since that is not the typical response. Let’s just say I was not typical. I had adhd and was somewhere on the spectrum but no one knew back then. They just classified me as a Tom-Boy and that was that. It explained most things about me.

After stretching we got to play the game. Today’s game was Hill Dill Come Over My Hill. Our school’s version of fishy fishy cross my ocean. I was the last one to be tagged so I had basically won the game but they made me cross one final time. This was the worst part of all. It was the worst because all of the spots on the mat on the opposite wall were taken up by a kid who had been tagged out already standing there. I had no time to even consider this since I was so nervous about Jesse LaCroix, my crush, and he was IT! I ran around, dodged his tag and was home free. Such an amazing feeling. “Wait oh no. Oh shit! I have no where to go! There are no spots!” and “Bam” I had run straight into the door frame of the gym teacher’s office with my head at full speed.

I lay there looking at up at my entire class staring back at me. Someone asked, “Can you see stars?” “Obviously not”, I thought to myself “Obviously I am not a cartoon character–this isn’t bugs bunny!” I finished, again, to myself. I had been leaving everyone in silence and suddenly realized I better answer the question or they are going to think I’m brain-dead. “No” I answered plainly. “My head just really hurts” I mustered the strength to utter that sentence to get myself out of the spotlight and to the safe calm of the nurses office. A student, I can’t remember who, it might have been Christine Lane, took me to the nurses office. They were very kind. I remember that. It was a big deal to be chosen to take someone to the nurses office so I remember there being a bit of a fight for the job and Christine was pretty feisty. She was a Sagittarius like my sister and a December birthday like me. “It must have really hurt” They said. “Yeah” I agreed. “There just were no spots to crash into the mat” I explained.

My Mom came to get me and I had already thrown up once in the nurses toilet. I puked again once I got into my Mom’s blue Astro Van. I remember feeling so badly that she would have to clean it up. She was worried. I could tell. I was a kid who was tough and had a very high tolerance for pain. When I said something hurt, I meant it.

I don’t remember the doctor’s office visit at all. Probably because I hated and still hate going to the Dr’s. I can only remember what my Mom told me once we were back in the safety of the blue Van. “You have a concussion. I am not supposed to let you sleep.” She urged. “Okay. What’s a concussion?” I asked. “It’s when you hit your head really hard” “Oh, I did do that didn’t I!” I laughed and realized that my head was throbbing on the side I had hit against the wall of the gym teacher’s office.

I spent the rest of the day sprawled out on the couch watching a movie about a bike race. Let’s just say it was insanely hard not to fall asleep. My Mom kept coming to check on me and would wake me up. I remember my grandmother, my Mom’s Mom, came over that afternoon. I remember thinking how sweet she really was. Just like my Mom but even more cheerful, which seemed impossible. I remember her saying she could see where I had hit my head. “You can?” I asked curiously. I didn’t know it was visible. It made me feel shy. That was the first time I had looked in the mirror and there I saw a red line on the left temple that traveled the length of my temple to my cheekbone.