It all started on a beautiful Hawaiian vacation.

A knot in my upper back was like a rock, slowly working its way through the layers of the Earth, finally pushing up, out of the soil to be seen. It had been on this slow journey to the surface for more years than I’d like to admit.

Despite sleeping wonderfully in our beautiful room overlooking the Pacific Ocean, each morning the knot diligently pushed its way closer to the surface. Minus this minor inconvenience, we had a magnificent trip. The energy of the islands was an amazing gift and I did my best to be intentional with each footprint we left on the island, both physically and energetically. We arrived home in Colorado greeted by snow covering the Rocky Mountains after a glorious week with our toes in the sand. The tingling in the tops of my hands that started while I floated in the Pacific, continued. I could no longer ignore this sign from my body. I needed help.

My incredibly supportive and kind husband encouraged me to see his massage therapist. He’d talked about him for years and what a miracle worker he was. We had hosted him and his wife for dinner one night and I knew he understood the energy and emotions each human holds. Yet I was hesitant. I was extremely self-conscious about laying naked on a table with a man I’d served dinner to at my dining room table.

I had tried other massage therapists after my favorite therapist left the industry and hadn’t been impressed. In fact, I left one massage session feeling ignored and beat up. Who we invite into our energetic space matters. I had ignored my intuition about that massage therapist and my body paid the price.

With my hands tingling, I decided I needed some real help, and, thanks to encouragement from my husband, I booked an appointment with my husband’s massage therapist. I was greeted warmly with a hug and left to discreetly disrobe and arrange myself on his massage table. Two pups were nestled in the corner behind a dog gate, quiet as could be. The room was warm, a golden light filled the space despite the black curtains that hung against the wall of windows for privacy.

His hands skillfully swept over my body, paying extra attention to not only the problem places on my back but also educating me about the problem places on the front of my body. It turns out my back issues were in my chest. I listened and learned. I caught myself still a bit self-conscious, palms sweaty at one point, which was my reminder to take a breath and relax.

At the close of the massage, I was feeling floaty, relaxed, and peaceful. My shoulders sat lower, feeling farther from my ears. My neck felt longer. My hips felt loose. He had done some manipulations on my back and neck and I felt renewed already. As I drove home, I passed the county courthouse where my husband and I got married after deciding to avoid the pomp and circumstance of a large, formal wedding, having both experienced those in our first marriages. Fond memories of our wedding day followed me as I drove. It was a glorious afternoon. And then I returned home.

As I walked into my house, an overwhelming sadness crept over me. I knew logically that as the massage therapist released the tightness from the muscles in my chest, psoas, and hip flexors, there was likely emotion being released. It took less than 30 minutes for the emotions to show up in my emotional field. Using my energy tools, I could identify grief, sadness, sorrow, rage, panic, and more, all coming up to be released, emotions lingering from my first marriage and divorce. I used my tools and cleared those emotions. I breathed deeply. I drank water and healing tea. Hours later, I felt another wave of emotion asking to be released. I cleared more emotion, then sat down and asked my guides, “Is there anything I need to know following my massage today?”

Here’s what came through.

Grief is being released from your heart. You were holding emotions that you didn’t realize were still there. Let it go. Let it all go. Let all these layers of emotion pour out of you. Watch them leave your field. Let them run like sunshine-colored chalk mixing with heavy rain, running out of your heart chakra, out of your chest, back to the earth to be transmuted back to its original form of pure light. Let it make room for something else, something more. Let it make room for love, for compassion. The more panic, grief, sorrow, and shame you release, the more it creates space. That space allows you to fall in love with yourself, with your person more deeply, to live from an open heart. Having an open heart chakra creates magic. Trust you will be caught, you will be held, you will be nurtured. You will be Peace. You will be at peace.

I love these messages, the ability to tap into wisdom outside of myself but somehow also inside myself. We hold so much inside these complicated human bodies. I believe pain can be emotion and trauma that gets trapped. There are so many ways to create and amplify healing. I am grateful for the tools I’ve been given. I’m grateful I can help my family, friends, and clients with these tools. I am also grateful to have found an incredibly well-educated massage therapist who understands he’s not just rubbing a physical body. Rather, he helps move emotions, move traumas, clear spaces, and invite healing. He speaks the language of energy and the language of physical healing. His type of medicine is just what my body needs. I’ve already scheduled my next session, and I’ll be prepared to walk into my appointment next time. I will see what comes up. I’ll clear more. Perhaps I’ll have a good cry and let go of the next layer.

I must admit, as I was feeling these waves of grief wash over me, I felt tired and a little defeated. I have been actively participating in healing work for 16 full years. I didn’t realize just how much remained stuck inside my physical body. Then I reminded myself that this work benefits me, but it also benefits my ancestry, my children, and future generations. This healing takes courage. It takes the ability to not push down but look at, identify, and move the emotions when they come up to be healed. It takes courage to sit with hard, heavy emotions. These waves of emotion were unexpected. I thought I just needed work done on my physical body. The Universe had bigger plans.

Healing creates a ripple in the Universe. I’ve been recently reminded that this isn’t just about me, rather it’s about my commitment to help raise the level of consciousness of the planet. As I heal myself, I help heal the planet. We do that—did you know? By shining our lights more brightly, and by courageously healing, every single one of us can create an energetic ripple in the world.

Here’s your invitation:

Be present. Pay attention to the signs your body sends you. Seek the assistance you need. Ask the Universe for help, to connect you to the right people, right time, right place, and right price. We each need a team of people to help us be our best selves. Counselors, coaches, massage therapists, acupuncturists, nutritionists, authentic friends, and partners with aligned hearts—it does take a village to move us through our human experience.

If you’ve been ignoring pain, don’t force your body to wait. Find your team. Nurture yourself. Seek healing, expected or unexpected. The whole world will benefit from you taking care of yourself. Do it for yourself. Do it for all of us. Set the example. Watch the ripple effect. Don’t wait. This is not a New Year’s resolution. This is a call from your soul to start taking care of yourself. Start today.

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