3 Keys to Ending Anxiety

How committed are you to end your anxiety?

This is coming from someone who was taken to doctors all over the south by the age of 4 because of what Doctor’s diagnosed as “nervous stomach.” I was having panic attacks by the age of 14. When I was in a state of panic it seemed so real, daunting and like I couldn’t get out of it. It felt dark, scary, like an elephant was on my chest when going to sleep at times and thoughts of worry wouldn’t seem to stop. Felt like hell.

I remember at some point at the hospital the doctor said, “Find your breath,” and gave me a bag to breathe into as I was about to hyperventilate.
I was given a key in that moment and didn’t even know it!

Life isn’t for living in fear, and suffering. To what degree are we ready to truly realize this and do what it takes to stop anxiety at its root. I was so trenched in it, almost felt there was no way out. Finally, one day, I was ready, I knew there had to be another way and yoga and meditation came into my life effortlessly. When we are truly ready to come out of the hell of mind, and ask, the way will show up somehow. There is a saying, “When the student is ready the teacher appears.” The teacher could be in any form. A new book, a new friend, a yoga class, an insight, a trip, an article we read, but somehow we are given a direction, that speaks to us uniquely, when we are truly ready and willing. No one can do it for you.

First key in bringing relief to anxiety is noticing our breath. Its a doorway out of hell mind creates and into presence. Even now, if you close your eyes, receive 5 deep breaths with 100 percent awareness on your breath, (which leaves no awareness for thoughts) immediately there is a sense of freedom from the fearful or upsetting thoughts.

Its a huge key, and created a massive shift in the way I saw anxiety. Realizing from one choice I could create space from thoughts. Choose Breath.

Then, once you are breathing a little deeper and starting to relax, just close your eyes and notice. Is your forehead and jaw tight? Are your shoulders tense? Just tell yourself gently, “Its okay just for this moment to relax the body.”

Second key is pause, wait patiently. Just notice what the mind is saying. Its often incessantly giving the same thoughts today as the last time anxiety was present. You are not your thoughts. When we begin to question the thoughts the mind is saying and being with someone who is trained in inquiry can be very helpful, we start to see the invalidity of them, and we can get to the root of the fear or worry. It comes down to what we are thinking and believing. Byron Katie is a great author of books on inquiry.

Third key is a regular deep breathing/mindfulness practice. Whether its yoga or belly breathing meditation, when we practice bringing our awareness out of thoughts and into presence, over time it becomes our natural way of being. From this place when anxiety arises we have the tools to be with ourselves with non judgement and without reaction. We are able to observe sensations in the body neutrally.

Where before, I had nervous stomach, now its, “Oh I notice sensations in my stomach, interesting, let me bring breath into the sensation.”

Noticing thoughts with a sense of wonder and curiosity instead of judgement or trying to get away from them. Allowing them from a place of innocence.
“Oh, I notice my mind is saying its worried what someone else thinks. Well thats an interesting thought, do I choose to believe it, or would I like to choose again?”

Being gentle with ourselves.

This takes practice and it can be fun! If you haven’t ever been to a yoga or meditation class, you do not have to be flexible to practice yoga and its an opportunity to be a part of an amazing community! If none are available in your area youtube it. But be committed!

The great gift of these practices is we begin to see a lot of the reason we suffer is we don’t know who we are. If we have never practiced inquiry and going deeper within ourselves we are often living someone else’s life. We were raised in the soup of our parents, friends, teachers, the culture we were brought up in, can even be certain religious beliefs you were raised in that are not even true for you.

I worked with a guy who was gay, and was raised in a family whose religious beliefs said this was “wrong.” He was making himself sick because of feeling guilt and shame, worried about what his family would think. After questioning what his mind was saying and discovering the truth from his own inner guidance and connection to Source he found courage to trust his heart, shared the truth, and now lives a beautiful life full of love and connection, new friends, like a whole new world.

How willing are we to get honest with ourselves. It takes vulnerability and courage, then and only then do we realize the truth of that saying, “Jump and the net will appear.”

There is only Love or fear, Reality or illusion.

The Way of Transformation says this,

“Bringing Light to darkness is all that matters. Constantly desiring to bring greater Light to your own darkness is the way in which you live, moment to moment to moment- greater Light, greater Light, greater Light:

What do I need to let go of?

How deep can my self honesty go?

How wide can my compassion for life spread?

What am I defending?

What am I afraid of?”

Are you ready to let go of the white knuckle grip of being sure there is no way out of anxiety and fear, and open your mind to there must be another way? Are you ready to commit to practicing meditation or some form of deep inner work, and discovering the truth of our nature? When we are ready, new doors open mysteriously, miraculously and Life shows up in a whole new way!

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