January 28, 2011

Ten Things That Suck About Elephant Journal.*

1. Uptight, Judgmental Yoga Purists
Because tradition isn’t inherently better than innovation, and people in ancient India had at least as many stupid ideas as people today.

2. People Who Accuse Anyone Expressing Concern About The Watering Down And Crass Commercialization of Yoga In Today’s Society Of Being “Uptight” And “Judgmental”
Because innovation isn’t inherently better than tradition, and people in ancient India had at least as much wisdom as people today.

3. Self-Righteous Vegans
Excuse the redundancy.

4. People Who Dismiss Any Suggestion That Their Lifestyles Could Be A Bit More Mindful And/Or Compassionate With Accusations of “Self-Righteousness”
Meat is murder, motherfuckers. Deal with it.

5. People Who Don’t Know The Difference Between “Righteous” And “Self-Righteous,” Even Though I’ve Explained It To Them More Than Once
I’m looking at you, Waylon.

6. Language Fascists
Who, me?

7. Yoga Porn
However many “hits” they may bring, such “articles” are exploitative and a defilement of the ancient sacred spiritual traditions of yoga.

8. Not Enough Yoga Porn
Fuck those repressed old sages. Yogis like to masturbate, too.

9. Criticism Of Waylon
Seriously, people, that guy puts his heart and soul into Elephant, and deserves your praise and friendship, not your incessant crap.

10. Waylon

* by request from Waylon…really…

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