October 6, 2011

Radical Sexuality—can Women really Ejaculate?

I have a disease.

Thinking that everyone knows the same things that I do. Even writing that is ridiculous.

How could it possibly be true?

How could anyone have the exact same information set as I do? No one has had the same life experience, the same education.  Even if they did, we would likely remember and take away very different things from those same experiences.

Lately everywhere I turn there is information on female ejaculation.


Mmmhmmm, female ejaculation.


See, you’re like, “Well now I haven’t read anything about that.”


When I told one of my most progressive, feminist, doula, sex-positive friends, her immediate reaction was “that doesn’t exist.”  I was truly stunned. This is someone who considers herself a sex goddess.  And because she hadn’t experienced it, she assumed that it didn’t exist.

I knew it existed, because I experienced it as a confused teenager, wondering if I had just peed on the bed.

But upon further, non-anecdotal investigation, as it turns out, female ejaculation does exist.

What is it?

Surrounding your urethra (the hole where urine exits- see, I am democratic in my presentation) is a sponge-y tube. It’s called the urethral sponge.  When you get turned on, glands and tissues within and around your vagina get engorged, swell with blood. The plasma then gets pushed into the urethral sponge which also gets puffy.  You can even see this externally- a small raised donut around the opening.

Some of you are already nodding knowingly. However if you have never experienced ejaculation and would like to try it:

When you are fully aroused (which usually takes about 25 -30 minutes, at least, of external genital stimulation) relax and bear down gently with your pelvic floor muscles. At first, since it is a new sensation, you may not experience it as entirely pleasurable.

But over time it can be VERY pleasurable, adding to the juiciness of your lovemaking.


And there is a bonus– there is a biological function. It is a cleansing mechanism for your urethral tract.  In addition to broadening your sexual palette and realm of experience, women have experienced relief from the following symptoms upon learning how to ejaculate:


-Urinary tract infections

-Frequency of urination

-Urgency to urinate, especially after sex

-Frequent bladder infections

-Interstitial Cystitis

With all of the talk about this new era being about the power of the feminine, it’s time that as women we understand our own bodies.

As a  bodyworker and a yoga teacher,  I work with a lot of women, especially regarding post-partum recovery. It is extremely rare that I encounter a woman who has no trouble at all with her reproductive system- whether that is PMS, irregular menstrual cycle, HPV, cervical cancer, fertility difficulty or cysts—the list goes on. Modernity is wreaking havoc on our reproductive systems.

I am not suggesting female ejaculation as a substitute for a Pap smear.

However I am suggesting that unearthing a deeper understanding of our womanhood, and specifically, our sexuality, may hold critical keys to healing.

Shining light on sexuality as a shameless realm for healing is the next step towards evolutionary consciousness and must be included in our spiritual inquiry, if we are to claim a holistic approach.

Stay tuned for the lowdown on the G-spot.


** If you would like to learn more, I highly recommend the work of Ellen Heed and  Jaiya Ma.

There is an excellent online program called Reclaim Sexual Vitality Post-Partum.  While targeted to post-partum women, there are incredible tutorials on contemporary female anatomy, phases of arousal, female ejaculation and much more. There is also a Q and A forum. It’s like 69 dollars and has seriously revolutionary information for mothers, women, bodyworkers and yoga teachers.

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