October 11, 2012

Should My Yoga Instructor Get a Boob Job? ~ Jill Hope Johnson


This is the quintessential question of the day: Should my yoga instructor get a boob job?

I suppose it is her choice to enhance herself to be a better person. When you think about it, we’re all on a path towards creating something better within. Why else would be put ourselves through our practice of inner peace and acceptance? She is merely “altering” her body to feel better about herself.

So, why do I judge her need for enhanced boobage?

Well, for one, six months of pain.

It seems like torture treatment. To have my nipple detached, my boob cut open and a plastic jello pudding pop put inside; to then get sewn all up again into a newer, improved unfeeling, you, is sheer agony. Don’t women go through enough in their lives?

Secondly, come on, do you really think bigger boobs will help you be a better person?

Think about it. If you live in a cold climate like I do, they’re well covered up for eight months of the year, unless you are a reptilian teenager, and they don’t count. Even in compromising situations, “in class,” hot yoga, and there’s that dude you want to sweat in your new cleavage for. Well, honey, cleavage ain’t gonna cut it when you’re sagging at 40.

All boobs have a “shelf life.” Do you really want to hang with a guy that only wants your cleavage? What about the 10 inches above that? Doesn’t that count for anything?

What about the “love thyself and others will love you” mantra?

Remember that human beings aren’t human doing. So, my friends considering a more boobalicious option, just be who you are. You are enough.

But, if you must improve your bust, then I accept the new you, plus two. But don’t expect me not to use your new features as my drishti point in class. They will surely focus my attention.


As an accomplished writer, the most recognizable elements of Jill Hope Johnson’s work focuses on her love of black humor, and her gift of storytelling. She has a fresh way of looking at the world—as demonstrated in her funny, edgy, and often unsettling portrayals of human relationships. Whether the format is stage plays, screen and television writing, or speech writing, Jill knows how to suck the marrow out of life, and when you get down to the bones of it, communicate just how unattractive the marrow can be. Jill’s most recent work is a mockumentary web series called “Yoga Town” that satires the business of Yoga. New episodes can be seen weekly at www.watchyogatown.com


Editor: ShaMecha Simms

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