August 28, 2013

Letter to My Son in Utero. ~ Vanessa Salas

Dear Little Guy,

It’s 6 am on a Sunday morning. I usually don’t wake up this early on a weekend, but you wouldn’t let me sleep with your constant twisting and turning and kicking. I don’t mind, though. I’ve been warned of sleepless nights when we see each other in a few months time. Might as well get used to it, right?

I can’t wait to finally meet you!

I am now 34 years old. I am nearing the so-called dangerous age for pregnancy, but I took my time before deciding to have you, because I want to make sure that I’m mentally, emotionally and financially prepared for your arrival because you deserve a good foundation.

That means by now I should have known myself well enough not to depend on you for meaning, happiness—or when I’m old and grey—support.

Find a profession that fulfills you and makes you feel whole. It is my fervent hope that you discover what your purpose is, and more importantly, that you possess the tenacity to pursue it. Don’t let other people’s negativity stop you from chasing your dreams—if it is clear, and you know it to be true at your core, go for it.

Sometimes even I might discourage you from what you might be convinced is your true calling.

Understand that any walls I might erect, any challenges I might throw in your direction, come from a place of parental concern, and an unconditional love that only a mother can give her child. It truly is for your own welfare. I may not see the point of you going after a particular dream.

We will argue. I will demand proof as to why such a aspirations are worthwhile, but indulge me, because above all else I want to ensure that you pursue your goals without regret.

Always be kind and generous. No exemptions. Be gracious, even to those who bully you. They more than likely envy you. It’s a tough world, and some people will give you a hard time, but accept it as part of their own journey towards being at peace with their personal limitations and unresolved issues.

While your head is in the clouds, plant your feet firmly on the ground.

As you devise your grand plans, always make sure that the dishes are washed, the laundry folded, the floors and windows scrubbed, and the bed made.

There is no excuse for neglecting your temporal body and ensuring that your surroundings are in order. It will help you achieve clarity, and give you greater focus. This will help you achieve your purpose without distractions.

A few more reminders: Develop character. Stand by the strength of your convictions. Strive for authenticity. Crying doesn’t make you any less of a man. Belittling others does not make you a better person.

Travel frequently and immerse yourself in cultures other than your own. Travel enough times to believe that we all have more in common than we realize.

Failure is a temporary setback, it is lesson learned that should goad you to move forward, not backward. Know when to quit, and when to stay the course. Listen to your moral compass. Play an instrument. Choose optimism.

That’s it for now. In the meantime, continue striving and growing and enjoying your time in my womb. You and I must gather strength for the arduous journey ahead.

I am privileged to be your chosen earthly vessel.

I love you.


*Note: I wrote this post in my journal when I was five months pregnant.

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Assistant Ed: Dana Gornall/Ed: Bryonie Wise

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