February 28, 2014

5 Ways to Instantly Become More Kissable. ~ Arjuna Ardagh


I woke up a few days ago, and found a interesting little piece in elephant journal called “Take off Your {Fake} Face.” Waylon Lewis suggests “go au naturel (on your face, at least), or wear a bit less—and maybe you’ll be even more kissable!”

He included a link to 52 pictures, on the NY Daily News, of stars both with and without makeup. In the glamor shots they look more glamorous, more perfect, more what we expect, but they certainly look (to me at least) more likable, more lovable, and more approachable without makeup.

Strange coincidence, but on the very same day that I read Waylon’s post, I also saw a report of Jay Leno’s last broadcast on the Late Night Show, by Verne Gay.

If you haven’t watched it yet, here is a quick update: Jay Leno has been on the air for 22 years, he inherited the show from Johnny Carson. He is usually funny, upbeat, sometimes a little edgy, and borders on cruel with his humor. In the last six minutes of his last show, he got real. This is what Verne had to say about it:

It was a moment, or several of them, that we’ve never seen of Leno, as though a curtain came up to reveal the real man. Gratifyingly, it was the real man we have always suspected Leno to be.

What was so terrific about these last few seconds was the simple fact that Leno—finally stripped down bare to the emotional studs so to speak, with nothing separating the real person from the millions who have supported him for decades—did not revert to form and did not hide. He spoke from the heart we’ve only rarely seen glimpses of over the years. He wrung raw emotion from the heart we knew was there, but hardly ever saw.

And what we saw, in the end, was something—someone—both generous and fundamentally decent.

Ladies and gentlemen, the real Jay Leno.


Ok, so it seems that February 2014 may be the month for all of us to take off our makeup and become more kissable, less toxic, and the people we always wanted to be.

How can we pay it forward, you and me?

We all wear makeup. It may not be out of a bottle, it may not pay millions of dollars as a talk show host, but, to quote Hamlet:

I have heard of your paintings too, well enough. God has given you one face and you make yourselves another.

How can we join Leno, and dozens of other, facially-denuded film stars?

How can we take off our makeup, and become more kissable?

1) When someone asks “How ya’ doin’?”, take a breath before giving the perfunctory answer of “Fine, thanks!”

Are we living our deepest longing? Are our hearts soft and open like a child’s? Or have we been closed down by the excessive need to produce and entertain?

2) Even without being asked, a few times a day, let’s tell people what it’s like to be us in this moment.

The point of such an unexpected blurting of authenticity is not utilitarian by nature. It serves a different agenda: connection and honesty.

3) Ask powerful questions.

Let’s not wait for somebody to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown before we ask, “What’s going on?” We can ask that question just because we are curious, not because we are trying to save them from jumping off a cliff. Let’s let people know we are genuinely interested in what they look like without makeup.

4) Give appreciation, lots of it.

Strangely enough, our personalities are much more attuned to criticism than gratitude. The automated mind is a machine that tries to fix problems. It focuses on things that need to be changed. Your true heart (under the makeup) delights in people as they are. So, let’s give the microphone to that smiling heart of ours as often as we can.

5) Admit mistakes.

It can be the hardest thing to do, and it easily slips into the undesirable territory of “mea culpa“. The essential difference is to remember that we are not bad people, we are all good by nature, with great intentions, but sometimes we commit small boo-boos. The more we can accept that with a smile the more kissable we become.

So shall we join the dance, you and I?  Shall we wash away the layers of makeup and join Katy Perry, Beyoncé, Cameron Diaz and Jay Leno, in becoming more kissable?


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Editorial Assistant: Brenna Fischer / Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: apdk/Flickr Creative Commons

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