November 13, 2014

I am a Happy Hot Mess (3 Signs you May be, Too).

Self Love

I’m a hot mess—and a different variety than what you’d see on HBO’s Girls.

I often unknowingly walk away from my parked motorbike with the keys in the ignition slot for hours at a time, I let fresh produce die with the best intentions of making that “soup for the week” to help me cut back on spending and although I am clean, somehow dishes pile up so quickly, that finally, when the bottom of the bowls and cups dry up and fruit flies make their appearance, I then step in to wash them.

I don’t know why I keep trying to be something I’m clearly not—like a more organized person with their head on straight—especially when people can see me clear as day—the hot mess that I am.

“Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.” ~ Hugh Mackay

It’s funny how much time is spent trying to fit a mold unoriginal from who we really are—so often so we don’t embrace the beauty of our unique fault lines—our beauty marks.

Now, I’m not just talking about being somewhat absent-minded with dishes and motorbikes, no, this has to do with the little bits of ourselves that we try to hide—like showing our vulnerable side, asking for help and sharing our fears.

I think we all are a little bit of a hot mess, in our unique way. Why do we try to hide these beauty marks?

Somewhere along the way, we forgot we were human, that we make mistakes and that things don’t arrive perfectly wrapped.

Previously, I fully ignored my sweet messiness, which caused pain in my body and in my heart.

I assumed people enjoyed me because they thought I had my shit together and I stressed about keeping it just so when things were not good—faking it. I often didn’t ask for help when I needed it—when I so badly wanted it.

All along though, people loved me for my messy and honest qualities and they wanted to help when they could. They were just waiting for me to open up about it. I think they also wanted to feel that they were not alone, on what they imagined was, their perfectly kept island (with no mess to be seen or spoken about).

For all of us, life is literally slopped together in the moment.

We do the best we can with what we’ve got. So the hot mess I actually think I am, is exactly what we all are—it’s just that some of us are at ready to admit it.

Right now my life feels like it’s held together with spit and sweat—I have a heightened sense of that hot mess vibe going on here.

I will admit, I think this sensation is more of a transitional vibe but it definitely keeps me on my toes.

Here are some other daily hot mess experiences. Maybe you can relate or at least understand:

I often forget to shave my armpits (this is a problem as I teach yoga and the pits show to a large grouping of people all day, every day), I sometimes wear the same leggings to teach a yoga class that I wore to bed the night before, many nights I eat cashews and an unwashed apple for dinner, I wear the same yoga clothes for a run and the same to teach in and the same to practice in, I’ve run my Vespa out of gas and have taken an Uber to find a gas station to get more gas (which costs 6 times more money than just getting the gas when the empty sign comes on). I’ll stop here—you get the picture. It’s easy to feel like a hot mess.

But, just as Pema Chödrön says in her book, When Things Fall Apart,

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”

So—maybe I’m just stringing some funny moments together, a lot more closely than feels comfortable right now and I’m not as much of a hot mess as I think I am.

Or rather, maybe we all are a hot mess because, well, life is messy. It’s not perfect, we just need to be ready to show our hearts a little bit and accept our hot messy selves more freely.

Maybe you resonated with something above and are ready to admit that you are a hot mess, too.

Check out these qualifications to see if you are a hot mess (they might be more applicable to the city dwellers out there):

1. The barista asks you about your day and you want to lay it on them—and with tears, because honey, nothing is perfect and we all need an ear. Let it go!

2. You want to ask your out-of-town friends to help you clean your room and fill the fridge. Why not? Life is busy, messy and expensive! Ask for help.

3. You want to speak openly about the real ongoings of your life rather than show just the amazing filtered images of you on your preferred social media outlet or your blog but are afraid of showing your true self. Wake up! We are all irrational beings and the burden is heavy to be so perfect all of the damned time. Just be vulnerable and lay down the truth. It will set you free.

Embrace some of the messiness that life has to offer you.

The unique you will attract more wonderful things into your life—no need to put on airs!

Just show those beauty marks babe.

Slow down, even for just two minutes:


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Author: Jesssica Sandhu

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: Flickr; Seth Doyle/Unsplash

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