Creating a sacred space for lovemaking is an important part of a healthy sex life.
It is said that in the ancient polytheistic world when goddess worship (Venus, Astarte, Demeter, and the like) was the norm, the highest offering devotees could make was to engage in sexual union within the walls of Her temple.
Now, I don’t know how historically accurate that little nugget of information is, but I love the idea. It helps us to remember that when we connect in a sexually intimate way with another human being, we are invoking divinity.
Following that line of reasoning, in modern life, the “temple” becomes the bedroom—or at the very least, the bed itself. I maintain this practice in my own life. If for some reason my partner and I are at odds, I choose not to disgrace the temple of the bed until we have resolved the issue and I can bring my highest, most sacred self to that holy place.
Now, it’s certainly not necessary to redecorate your boudoir into Shangri-La every time, but once in a while taking a few moments to concentrate on your surroundings can make the subsequent encounter all that much more special.
It doesn’t even have to be the bedroom.
You may wish to change your routine by setting up a love nest of sorts in the living room or den. Throw down a few blankets and pillows. If you are sprucing up the bedroom, choose the softest blankets and add a few more pillows to the bed. You can also push the bed against a wall and line the wall edge with pillows.
Speaking of Pillows…
Pillows get a lot of flack for being unnecessary frou-frou; however, they can become great sex aids. You can lean against them or use them to prop up your lover’s body. And, of course, if they do get in the way, you can just toss them aside. (There’s something sexy about pillow-flinging in the heat of passion. Just be sure to aim away from water glasses and any decorative objets d’art. Yeah. I’ve made that mistake. Not so sexy.)
Light it Up
Lighting is important as well. Avoid all electric light in the room where you make love. Light candles instead. Even camping lanterns can give a soft glow to the room. Be sure not to place flame near anything that can catch on fire. Place plates under candles to avoid dripping wax and marking your floors.
Drape warm-colored scarves or other tapestries over existing curtains and across any energy-draining, non-sexy items in the room such as computer monitors, televisions or clothing hampers.
If you’re not allergic, light some incense as well. Choose soft, sensual smells such as sandalwood, musk, or patchouli.
Most importantly, set up your sanctuary together; it’s all part of the warm-up to sacred sexual intimacy.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Author: Rachel Astarte
Editor: Emily Bartran
Photo: Max Charping/Flickr