December 17, 2014

Tired of Talking About Beauty? Let’s Change the Conversation.

Google Images for Reuse

I’m beautiful.

I’m not beautiful.

I’m thin.

I’m not thin.

I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted by these topics.

Yes, they have merit and are important to discuss.

No, I’m not dismissing them.

Yes, I can relate.

Shit, can I relate: I’ve starved myself, worked out ’til I’ve injured myself, worn pounds of make-up, spent hours obsessing over how I look, weighed myself obsessively, and counted calories compulsively. For many years, that was my life.

It’s terribly painful.

But, it is because of that pain that I say:

Enough already!

Can we talk about something else?

Because getting to know myself beyond my appearance is what saved me.

This constant conversation about how we don’t feel beautiful/feel beautiful, don’t feel thin/feel thin, are secure/insecure, are jealous/not jealous, are privileged/not privileged is just really damn distracting.

Distracting from what?

From what’s in our amazing minds, juicy hearts and freaking delicious souls.

I’d really rather talk about that.

What are you thinking?

What are you struggling with?

What makes your hands tremble with fear?

What makes your eyes twinkle, your heart beam?

What makes your soul sing?

What makes you cry?

What makes you tingle all over and ooze with joy?

What inspires you and makes you soar?

What do you love passionately and fiercely?

Yes, I’d really rather talk about that.

Can we craft an identity completely separate from beauty?

Because as long as we talk on and on and on about our looks (in a positive or negative way) we are contributing to our society’s underlying belief that we are objects.

And, we know we’re anything but—so let’s act like it.

We are living, breathing, powerful, awesome, intelligent, passionate, kind, gentle, fierce [insert your own adjective here] creatures.

Why do we even need to feel beautiful?

Beauty is fake. Beauty is unreliable. Beauty is culturally determined. Beauty is empty.

Beauty is anything but real.

So why live our lives around it?

We don’t have to.

F*ck beauty.

Let’s change the conversation entirely.

Let’s talk about our dreams.

Let’s let our souls chatter madly, our hearts following vigorously.

Let’s talk about joy, sadness, pain and fear.

Let’s talk about nature.

Let’s talk about love and sex and broken hearts.

Let’s talk about our darkest days and our brightest wishes.

Let’s tell silly stories and laugh ‘til tears stream down our faces.

Let’s talk of outrageous adventures that inspired the shit out of us.

Yes, these things are far more interesting.

Because the more we obsess about beauty, the less we have time for what’s real.

And, I think we could all use a big helping of delicious, juicy realness. (I hear it goes great with chocolate.)

Let’s pour our energy and thoughts elsewhere.

Let’s sink our teeth into each other’s yummy souls and dive right in.

Let’s change the conversation entirely.

The world’s wide open.

What do you want to talk about?


*Author’s note: This article was inspired by “I am a Thin, Beautiful, Privileged Woman.” I didn’t agree with all expressed there, but I love that it got me thinking and feeling inspired! I mean no disrespect to the author, as I appreciate her work: I simply offer my own alternative viewpoint here.



Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Google Images for Reuse

Read 4 Comments and Reply

Read 4 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Sarah Harvey  |  Contribution: 84,555