March 10, 2015

An Ode to your Beard.


When at first I heard your name mentioned

In casual conversation,

I shuddered, displeased.

Whiffs of pipe-smoke and memories of

My father’s tickly moustache were

Conjured up.

Nostalgic, but about

As sexy to me as

The wild men of Borneo.

We actually had an argument over you.

Because of you, beard,

He slept downstairs that night.

But we made amends, and agreed that

It was his face (of course);

Facial hair did not warrant argument,

And you would not be

A hobo beard.

He also told me you were good for kissing (and other things).


And so you grew.

I marvelled at the minutes—no, hours spent on your care.

You were conditioned,


Combed and


I caught him admiring you in the mirror

More times than I caught him admiring me.

I can’t lie:

I was a little jealous of

All the attention you received.

But then you filled out, thickened up

And I was surprised at

How soft you were.

Every time I kissed him he

Smelled of oranges and sandalwood

And you tickled my lips,

In a not at all Dad-like way.

(You tickled other things too.)

I was surprised at how much

I liked you.

He still looked like himself, but the most



Wise and

Sexy version of himself I’d ever seen.

I was amazed at how much

You made me want him.

I wasn’t prepared for the intense

Carnal reaction I’d have

To some facial hair.

And other people also noticed.

Women smiled doe-eyed and

Chatted (a bit too) eagerly

At the sight of you.

Men admired you and

Gave a knowing nod.

And so dear beard, you have earned

Your place in my heart.

I never thought I’d swing lumber-sexual.

But here I am,

And I hope we never part.



10 Things I Find Sexy in a Man (that Aren’t All About Sex).


Author: Khara-Jade Warren

Editor: Caroline Beaton

Photo: Google images labeled for reuse

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