Will you marry me one day?
Not yet, of course. Not least of all because I realised today that we are two helpless souls when it comes to love. To each other. And helplessness just will not do. We’re like leaves in a wind when we’re together and beautiful as it is, we must learn to hold on to each other and command the wind.
There’s a few things I want to sort out yet before I can watch you walk toward me in white, yes white, a tear in my eye and a dream in my heart.
I’m as insecure as a kitten when it comes to you. So deep is my want for all of you that it comes out in timid resentment and over analytical rebuttal. I must tame that before I can truly hold your heart. I must realise your all before I can take it in.
The thing is, you see, I’m actually quite strong. Not much has thrown me to my knees and kept me there. But you, my dear, make my knees weak beyond belief. More yoga is required before my legs can carry this love in my heart.
Sure, there’s money and work and houses and debt. But my love soars high above all of that. It glides on sometimes reckless dreams and squints into the sun too often. Before I take your hand I have to find my feet and place them firmly on the ground for a while. Only a while, mind you. So that in one tremendous leap one day we can jump together into the stars.
Perhaps we’ll have a house in the trees with a swing from a branch. Perhaps I’ll build a little office where I’ll write and I’ll chop logs for our fire before we cook food from our garden on our aga.
Perhaps we’ll have a daughter and my sons will raise her right with us. Imagine what a woman she’d be! With you and me and my tribe of young men. A wild one for sure. And perhaps the only contender for your beauty that there’ll ever be.
So one day, maybe, will you marry me? Not too far from now. But long enough so that we’re everything we can be before we become something else.
While we wait for them to say yes, let’s take a minute to appreciate our singlehood:
Author: Andy Charrington
Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: J.K. Califf/Flickr