June 27, 2015

Are we all Bi-Sexual & just don’t Realise It?


*Author’s note: This is just my own opinion, some thoughts I wanted to put out there to create dialogue and to encourage those who have limited beliefs to think outside the box a little. If anyone has alternative opinions or beliefs, I would love for them to write an article with their thoughts on this to open my mind further and encourage communication on this subject. This article is in no way meant to offend anyone, it is just my inner mind unravelling, and I do understand that maybe this thinking is a little ahead of its time—and I accept that. I have written many previous articles in full loving support of the LGBT community and will continue to raise awareness for equality for all areas for as long as I live! I write to push boundaries and challenge thinking a little where possible, it doesn’t mean I am right or wrong, it is just giving some food for thought and it is open to discussion.


Yesterday marked a day of huge celebration not just in America, but worldwide.

Finally, finally, finally the U.S. has recognised that one love, one union and the constitution of marriage is not a privilege, it is an equal right for all human beings, and although it has taken quite some time for many to catch on and realise this, attitudes and laws are finally changing.

I don’t identify as gay and I don’t live in the U.S. However, my heart was beaming the whole of the day, it was bursting at the seams and then it grew a little more.

I have long been an advocate for the LGBT community. I have many friends and a couple of family members who identify as either being lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgender. It is not a “choice,” as some believe, it is who they are, and they deserve to live their lives true to who they are on the inside without receiving any interference or having rules and regulations tell them how they should or shouldn’t be living on the outside.

“Live true to our authentic selves,” isn’t that what the world over-preaches? Yet, when so many try to do this they are shamed, blamed, ostracised and often subjected to acts of aggression or violence.

Despite what anyone thinks, says or tries to argue, their reasons for judging others all boils down to the same thing: narrow mindsets, fear and discrimination.

People live in fear of the unknown and are afraid of what they do not understand—terrified, even.

When they are fearful, they put up defenses and try to attack the cause of it. I do not justify it, although I often see it as being an instinctive reaction, similar to our immune system; when something enters that it does not understand, it immediately prepares to protect and to fight. However, that uncomfortable feeling does not mean something is wrong, it just means we need to pry open our minds, take a look at our reactions and discover what is within ourselves that is causing this fear.

What people are failing to realise is that when they slam something down without taking a look at it first, they are risking the opportunity of being able to explore something that has the potential to be incredibly beautiful.

People are hidden treasures. They really are. Because there is nothing more captivating, enchanting, breathtaking and attractive than a person who is comfortable with who they are and who is brave and vulnerable enough to peel back their skin and show what is radiating underneath—their soul.

Although I identify with being straight, I sometimes question how limited my own view is.

Yes, I am attracted to men. However, surely it is the uniqueness, quirks and traits of someone’s true being that is what is really attractive? Physically, I find both men and women beautiful. However, when someone shows me what others are afraid to unveil—their natural, genuine and absolute authentic self—it stops me in my tracks and my heart beats wildly.

This celebration of gay marriage has not only given me a great sense of hope for the future, it has also made me question myself a little more, and realise that there is far more to all of this than I believe a lot of us are willing to see.

Souls love souls. That is a fact.

Yes, we are initially attracted to looks, but when those fade, it is the souls that bond and create a deep love. We are often nurtured and conditioned to believe that man should attract woman and woman should attract man. And when anything goes against this it rubs a lot of people the wrong way and ruffles feathers.

Now, I’m not discounting that there are stronger attractions to certain sexes. Millions of people find deep love and are only attracted to either the male or female body and mind and find no attraction at all in the opposite or same sex, and I totally understand that.

However, when we are all a mixture of masculine and feminine deep in our core selves, are some of us limiting ourselves by placing physical attractions over soulful ones?

Minds are opening, and I absolutely adore Miley Cyrus for saying that she doesn’t identify with either being male or female and that she does not need a partner of hers to identify with either sex either.

A lot of people are constantly willing to shut Miley Cyrus down for attention seeking and requiring media attention and validation. However, when we look closer, we will just see one famous person who lives under the spotlight, and anything she does will attract a heap of attention—so living a life totally outside of the “normal” box is for sure going to throw her under the radar. And that, in my opinion, is amazing, as I believe she is doing an incredible job simply living true to her core self. She is courageous enough to show who she is, and often people don’t like that—they don’t want to see what doesn’t fit with their own lifestyle or beliefs.

Miley is breaking herself wide open to love, to pure love in whatever form it takes. And that petrifies people! Miley’s willingness to love herself and others without restriction is a huge threat to society! Why? Because she chooses to accept herself and others exactly as they are? People are afraid of that? Yes—incredibly.

Now, I understand that all that I am saying here is not describing someone who is bi-sexual, or even pan-sexual, and that Miley Cyrus does not identify or label herself in any way, she just accepts people in their entirety. However, when we attract at a soul level we are accepting males and females equally, for their inner beings, whether that is masculine or feminine. It is stripping away all the labels, layers and judgements we place on ourselves and others and it is removing limitation.

There is more to soul-deep love than physical attraction. Yes, that is an essential ingredient, but there is something else that powerfully magnetises us to someone.

I understand and totally respect that some men are strongly attracted solely to males and some females find strong similarly strong attractions to females, and I celebrate those attractions completely. I also firmly believe that these connections are soul-deep connections, as the fear of being judged has been removed and these relationships have formed from the strength and courage to fight societies “norms” and to make connections with those who their souls, hearts and bodies are attracted to. There is nothing more amazing and beautiful than that in the whole world.

I also understand that even when we do attract on a soul-deep level, we may still only be attracted to either males or females as in heterosexual relationships.

I just wonder, though, if those of us who don’t open to our core selves and are too afraid to explore what we really appreciate, long for and desire from relationships, including strong resonance and intimate connections, are sacrificing the chance to find profound love in our lives.

My point is that when we take away all the layers and masks we place on ourselves within our daily lives—what would be underneath?

Who would we be, and who would we be attracted to if we were not afraid of what anyone might say, or what anyone might think?

If we could live free of expectation and shame, would we still make the same choices?

Elephant Journal writer Monika Carless spoke to me about her experience with soul connections,

“I was born two-spirited. I’ve known that I was bi-sexual from an early age, six years old. As an empath who is strongly sensitive to energy, my attraction to male and female was always a soul attraction. My body responded in kind.

For me, it is about embodiment of all that is, male, female, the duality of creation, a deep-seated love for the beauty of both sexes—I could not choose if I tried.

My attractions to people always stem from my soul meeting theirs. On some level, I do not need to meet them in person to understand their inner beauty. We are made to naturally be attracted to either sex, I firmly believe this, but our social and religious conditioning prevents us from understanding ourselves. We are soul-free to love anyone, so why not body free?

I so would love for people to ponder this question. It would open a channel for love in this world that has for too long been shut tight.

Love is love, and when we begin with soul love, for whichever sex, war will end and we will awaken to our true nature. Peaceful, encouraging, loving. I don’t think this is an overstatement. The gay community is showing us how. These are my soul words.”

This is why I want to raise the question: is there another way, and Miley is just at the very start of spreading this message on a bigger scale? Should we all be pushing our own and society’s boundaries further and asking ourselves, is there something we are missing because we are conditioned to believe that a man needs a woman and a woman needs a man?

Is this limiting and preventing us from experiencing something quite incredible as a whole?

Are we missing out on the deepest of soul connections the world has ever seen on a mass scale just because our evolution has told us we need the opposite sex to have a family? We have proved that we don’t. There are many other options—surrogacy, artificial insemination, adoption.

The world is changing, and I welcome the changes with open arms. There is something more out there, of that I’m sure.

I’m excited to see what the future holds as we all are recognised as equal, as we celebrate love and we are beginning to understand we are all a mixture of feminine and masculine and our souls are exploring, accepting, opening and attracting more than ever before.

There is only one type of love. It is pure. It doesn’t hate and it doesn’t judge. Let’s stop defining and judging it and start celebrating it however it is presented to us.

Love and equality are the two things that are guaranteed to change the shape of the world as we know it. This terrifies some, and it is extremely liberating, exhilarating and one huge celebration for others.

I don’t think it is just due to diversity that the rainbow is the symbol for gay pride, I believe it is also because the LGBT community are not afraid to show their true colors—the ones that reflect who they really are.

Love is love is love.

It is all we need.


Relephant Read:

A Trigender Panromantic Bisexual Teen Walks Into My Office.


Author: Alex Myles

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Flickr

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