This is a letter from “Baby #2” (due in 2 days!), about things to do differently this time around…
First up, I must say, I’m really looking forward to meeting you! You seem like a pretty cool mummy, and I think you’re doing a fab job, even if you don’t think so yourself most of the time.
I want to tell you not to worry about my arrival—it really doesn’t matter how I get into this world. I see how you still sometimes feel tearful about the birth of my big sister Molly. I know it wasn’t easy on your body or your mind, but all that doesn’t matter now—Molly doesn’t seem fazed at all. In fact, she seems pretty cool!
I know that you’ll be extremely tired in the weeks to come, and I want you not to be so hard on yourself this time. I don’t mind if we cry a bit together, to get things off our chest, but I don’t want you to bottle things in at all like you sometimes did when Molly was little.
Ask for help when you need it. Hand me over to Daddy. Tell Granny to give you a break. I’ll give you a shout when I need you again, as I know it’s not easy caring for a tiny one like me. Don’t take it all on yourself!
Now let’s talk about those parenting books—they really frustrated you last time, didn’t they? All that talk of routines and timings—what you should do, what you shouldn’t do, when you should do it—I know it drove you mad!
I want to tell you now—I probably won’t play by the rules, but please don’t get annoyed! Let’s pop those books away, shall we? No need to worry if I don’t feed exactly like clockwork or go to bed at seven in the evening.
We’ll work it all out together and find our own rhythm in time—things don’t need to be perfect.
Mummy, look, I know you’ll struggle with the lack of sleep, and it might make you a little grumpy. Please don’t take it out on Daddy—he’ll probably be tired too. When I cry, don’t worry about googling what my cry means—I probably just want a cuddle, a feed, or a little burp (but always try the cuddling thing first as that might work the quickest.)
Don’t think you have to “fix” me each time I screech—sometimes I might just like to exercise my voice for no real reason at all!
Let’s also get out a little more this time— I want to see the world from my pram! I don’t want to be put down every day for scheduled naps, because I’ll tell you now, I probably won’t always feel like snoozing when you want me to! But don’t let that put you out. Let’s grab a coffee in Starbucks and chat with some of your friends. I can have a nap, a feed and watch the world go by.
I’d like to see you enjoying life more and not letting thoughts of “routine” hold you back. I can be like your sidekick—your tiny partner in crime! Most of all, I’d love to be in that carrier thing tucked right against your chest. Yes, I’ll enjoy many a snooze right in there.
Now, on to the subject of your body. I know you think it’s softer and squishier, not like the body you once had.
Personally I think you’re looking great, so don’t put pressure on yourself to make that all disappear. In time, you’ll come back to feeling more like yourself. There’s no real rush at all—enjoy your yoga, take a little swim—it doesn’t have to be hardcore.
Finally, I know you talk a lot about “being present,” and I want you to hold on to that. Don’t over think every situation or worry about something that hasn’t even happened. Let’s just take this one day at a time, get to know each other, and I think we’ll do just fine.
We’re going to be a fab little family—you, Daddy, Molly and me.
Can’t wait to see you soon!
The Bean x