“People change in the maze. Oh, find the cup if you can, but be wary…you could just lose yourselves along the way.” ~ Dumbledore, Harry Potter
As the wise old wizard said, this world is but a maze with deep and dark corners.
Escape is difficult. The exit lies in the achievement of our goals, but even this process may lead to changes that result in further confusion.
I have often found myself in the midst of this confusion and fear, but once I found the way out of this convoluted pattern, I was a changed person. Even today, I find myself fighting these changes in order to survive. As they say, it is the survival of the fittest.
Changes can feel like they shatter us, but it’s important to pick ourselves up and learn to live again.
These changes can occur in a millisecond. A regular day can turn in a completely different direction. For instance, April 25, 2015 was a normal day for the people of Nepal, but a sudden earthquake left the entire country devastated.
People now had no option but to pick themselves up from the rubble.
Are these changes positive or negative? Can we distinguish between the two?
There can be positives in a negative situation and vice versa.
Just like the people of Nepal—who are still facing multiple tremors and yet are hopeful that the situation will change—we too need to face the problems of our life and pick ourselves up from the dust. The Nepalese can be a great source of inspiration to us. They have shown us how important hope is.
Hope is what keeps us alive and gives us the strength to fight and survive.
In the midst of all the confusion, we tend to lose our true selves. We wear masks to cover our real character. We are all inclined to mould ourselves to suit the world, the result is that we stop being honest with ourselves and everyone.
The masks that we wear soon become a part of us and when they fall, they take away a part of our skin too.
It is important to go at our own pace in overcoming these problems—here are a few steps:
Find an outlet.
Emotions (eg: anger) need an outlet to escape the body. Tears are natural and should not be stopped or taken as a sign of weakness. They would help us cope with the changes. Tears can often lead us to the feelings of gratitude. Expressing anger in healthy ways can help sometimes.
These are the messengers of overwhelming grief, use of which can help us in this process of healing.
Pick yourself up.
The people affected by the earthquake have to start slow and steady from the very base. They cannot expect to recover instantly, anything that has been broken down needs time to recover and reach its initial height. The changes in our lives need time to settle down—we cannot expect to revive from a fall instantly.
It took me a lot of time to come to terms with everything and even today, trusting someone easily is difficult.
Talk to someone.
Talking to someone who can guide and motivate us is always a bonus and can help recovery be faster. I talked to several of my friends who helped me through hard times by telling me their own stories of survival.
Doing what makes you happy and gives you satisfaction, doing the things that you love…this is the best therapy. Sing, dance, play, read, shop, travel, do what brings out the best in you.
Go at your own pace.
There is no point in hurrying up. Everybody has his or her own different speed of restoring. It took several downfalls for me to understand that sometimes it is only me who matters and it’s important for us to be introspective sometimes, leaving the social life behind and not worrying what others say, since, after all, we are our own partners and best friends, right?
Just like the wise old wizard said, we may find our aim in this maze, but we have to be very cautious as the maze can be dangerous.
Achieving our goals without losing ourselves is difficult but is the only path to an authentic life.