“Orgasm is the involvement of the total body: mind, body, soul, all together…It is like a madness…it is like meditation…” ~ Osho
To achieve mind-blowing sex we first need to ensure we are engaging in mindful sex.
Although this sounds very simple, it is something that seems to elude many people. Thoughts and emotions influence the way we feel and they are responsible for preventing or elevating intimacy and deep connections with our partners.
Mindfulness is a very natural and gentle way of maintaining an awareness of thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and the environment around us by constantly remaining in the present moment.
To remain in the present moment we must try to keep our minds from reflecting on the past or from projecting into the future. When the mind does jump, we should not pay too much attention to the thoughts that occur and instead gently nudge the mind back to the here and now.
When we practice mindfulness we are able to stay finely tuned to our own needs and also to the needs of those around us. Therefore, when engaged with a lover in a sexual experience we will be in a far better position to know what it is that our own bodies and what our partner’s bodies desire and need to achieve heightened levels of ecstasy and pleasure.
The easiest, quickest and simplest route to mind blowing sex is to understand the very thing that causes the mind to blow—which is the mind!
What we feed our minds has a direct impact on the emotions, sensations and pleasure that we feel. If we are over worrying or thinking about anything other than what we are engaged in, we will not experience the full benefit of the activity. However, if we fully give ourselves mind, body and soul to the experience, we will open ourselves up to receiving the full amount of pleasure and powerful sensations possible.
To achieve mind-blowing sex, the mind needs to take a back seat to allow the body to do all the talking. So that we can be sure our bodies receive the opportunity to maximize the sensations, we need to ensure our thought processes do not get involved so that they take over and interrupt.
There could be many reasons why we are not always fully focused and present during the act of sex. External factors, stresses and anxieties can run havoc through our minds making it very difficult to switch off and relax into the moment. That said, however, we can also spend too much time worrying about our bodies, our techniques or evaluating or judging our performance and this worry alone can have a direct impact and negative effect on our pleasure and sexual experiences.
Sex is a primal act and one that should feel very natural for both parties, so we should not have to think too much about where or how to touch one another. Sexual experience should involve allowing the bodies to move in whatever way feels most natural. When we free the mind of thoughts, the body will take over and move into the positions that feel good so it is free to respond to the sensations it feels, accordingly.
The mind does not need to take control during our sexual experiences as our bodies are sensual and they have a heightened sense of awareness when the mind is calm. They will not need to be told where, how or when to move. Similarly to what takes place when music is played, the body will move naturally to the beat—when involved in sexual activity, it will also move and respond naturally to our partner’s body to give and receive pleasure.
When we stay in the present moment at all times and we are genuine, authentic and fully connected and engaged in the here and now our pleasure senses are heightened dramatically. Also, if our minds are in the past or the future, our partners will pick up on this and feel as though your intention and affection is insincere.
During interactions, our partners want to feel that our attention is focused on the sexual experience and that our presence is committed. When both partners are fully in the moment they absorb every detail of the other’s actions as the bodies communicate and interact.
When we are not fully conscious with our interactions, the pleasure and sensations will weaken as we miss vital response signals from each other’s bodies, so the resonance will not be felt as deeply and the intensity for both will not feel as strong.
If we pay attention and notice how both bodies are moving against one another, how our lips feel when pressed together, the smell of one another, how we look at each other and also absorb how our partner’s skin feels to touch, we will also notice how our energy and our vibrations affect and interact with our lovers as our senses our heightened.
When we recognize and acknowledge what we are feeling within and allow the energies of those sensations to outwardly reflect and gravitate towards our partner, they will pick up on the energy signals and likely respond accordingly. We should be tuning into one another, harmonizing our mind, bodies and souls.
To have mindful sex it is also important not to focus on the end result, enjoying each moment and staying within the present moment is what makes the pleasure and sensations intense as each part of our body is alerted and responsive to touch.
When we’re engaged not only physically but also emotionally during sex, we reach our highest potential for pleasure. We are then in a place where we can explore each other and connect at a more intimate level and on a deeper dimension.
Passionate and erotic sex is exhilarating and leads to a deeper bond between lovers where they can also gain a great sense of emotional peace and feel fully satisfied and nourished. When both partners are fully present and committed to the experience it can lead to a full tantric, spiritual and mind-altering sexual experience.
To help to achieve a calm and present state of mind all we need to do is take deep breaths while letting go of all thoughts that occur. Thoughts will come, and they will go, this is okay—let them. So long as we do not pay any attention to anything that enters our mind, it will quickly pass.
We should relax the body as well as the mind while setting the intention for a genuine, open, authentic and committed connection. When we let go of all expectations of the outcome of our experiences we can simply enjoy being present and taking and receiving the pleasure from whatever occurs. It really is that simple, and when we add this concept to our sexual experiences, we will be in the best position to achieve mind-blowing sex every time.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May
Photo credits: Robert Bejil/Flickr