Pregnancy cut short by a month.

Quick labor.
Home.

Feed, Change, Swaddle, Rock.

Repeat
Repeat
Repeat.

Work up the courage
To get out of the house
Strategically timed around
Melt-downs and messes

Poop on the
clothes
couch
floor
walls
car seat.

#allthespitup
#allthecoffee

Six weeks pass in a flash.
Back to work
On no sleep.

Apnea keeps us up
staring and checking.
Is he sleeping too much?
Is he gaining?
Is he looking in my direction?
When will he smile?
When will he laugh?

Worry.
Worry.
Worry.

Pump.
Pump.
Pump.

Can we do this?
We can’t possibly do this.
How will we do this?

We are doing this.
It’s happening now.

And this short time
that feels like the longest time
will be gone before I know what I had.

I’ll long for the sleepless nights,
The way he fits in the crease of my elbow
And runs only the length of my forearm.
The hours of nursing.

Styling a fro-hawk in his hair.
The snuggles.
The frog legs.
The wonderment.
The stillness.
The kisses.
The deep inhale of his new baby head.

Saying, “I love you.”
And knowing I’m different.
That I am forever changed
Without fully knowing how.
The depth and magnitude is new.
I just know it’s truth.
The truest love I’ve ever felt.
The greatest thing I’ve ever done.
And I will cherish my finest work of art
Every day, for as long as I live.

 

 

Relephant: 

Taught by a Baby: The Path of Parenting.

 

 

 

Author: Megan Morris 

Editor: Renee P 

Photo: author’s own.