We never had affection.
Or really cared.
At least,
That’s what I tell myself.
It’s easier to believe
We were not meant
For this collision,
This cross on our paths.
It is better to think,
That all we once had,
Was a shared resonance.
The same desire
To be part of the strongest pack.
We knew we’d find strength
In numbers.
You and I.
A pack of two.
Our own wolf pack.
It’s all we had ever wanted.
It would have been
more than enough.
We would have made magic.
Burned with the stars.
We could have brought
Our barren forest
And naked souls,
Back to flourishing life.
But instead,
We were both looking out
For each other’s weakness.
We fought like war,
Two opponents
Enemies at times.
We’d never stand in a line
As comrades.
Side by the other’s side.
No.
We battled against
What should and could have been ours.
We were too caught up,
In our own selfish needs.
So desperate to uncover,
Where demons hid.
We thought it too risky.
To align with another,
Who had imperfections.
Which would have forced us
To question our own.
Those high expectations
Became the curse that would hold us.
Grip us so tight,
Hold us to ransom
And prevent any peace
To ensure that we never could bond.
Our current was strong,
It pushed and it pulled,
And threw us around.
Magnetised powerfully,
Repelled forcefully.
We were tested
And time after time we failed.
A unique connection?
No.
Unconditional love?
No, not us.
We looked for unique weaknesses,
Or even disdain.
We tore each other apart.
We could have been
An indestructible alliance.
Though, it’s easier to destroy,
Rather than to build.
And even though,
We swore and
Vowed we were different.
To all the others.
That came before.
We were not.
We were a mess.
So very afraid.
Of the reflection
We saw in each other’s eyes.
We lived in terrifying fear.
Petrified,
To try to exist in the abyss
That would have uncovered
Our masked and well-hidden flaws.
We’d sooner bite at the other,
And spit out the remnants.
Distastefully.
With a cold
And callous disregard.
We’d rather run with coyotes
Than follow the other’s lead.
To flourish and finally be fed.
We escaped from ourselves
Not from each other.
When we caged and veiled our hearts.
We are two lone wolves.
Destined to roam,
Never to settle.
Never to… (dare I say it)
Love.
We’d rather admit defeat.
We are far too alone to admit.
And so
We struggle to survive.
Without the other,
Though this we would never admit.
We would rather continue
Our journey through the wild,
Treacherous,
And vast terrain.
Although we are distant
We are caught in a vicious and violent snare.
Trapped by the other.
Carelessly ripping at wounds.
We could simply release
And free
One another.
Maybe try once more,
To unite.
But no,
Although we’re in pain
And slowly bleeding to death
We’d rather tear at our flesh and
Gnaw our own bones to escape.
~
Relephant Reads:
The Practice of Peaceful Abiding.
~
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May
Photo: Flickr/Jeremy Weber
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