July 6, 2015

What to do when We are Confused.


Sometimes we need to get lost to be found.

Maybe that is all life actually is—a big, crazy game of hide-and-go-seek.

A constant cycle of losing ourselves and then finding ourselves just as we are in this moment, once again.

I like to think that there are two bigger picture states of our existence: The state of confusion and the state of clarity.

And both states are fine. In fact, they are necessary.

The only problem is that we tend to be more fond of clarity and would like to steer away from confusion.

Confusion can make us feel inadequate, like we are not enough. Confusion can make us feel like we don’t know what we are doing or that we’re screwing up.

On the other hand, clarity makes us feel in control and powerful because we know what we are doing and where we are going.

But the truth is that without confusion, we can’t have clarity.

We need to swim around in the murky waters of knowing nothing if we are ever going to figure out anything.

So, what are we to do when we are feeling confused?

We can just settle down. Relax into it. Know the confusion is perfect in its impermanence and that struggling against the confusion only causes much unneeded suffering to ourselves and the people in our presence.

We can just see confusion for what it is. A moment in time where we don’t have answers and know that the best answers will arise from self-love and acceptance, not from self-criticism and excessive will-power.

Not rushing through confusion is quite possibly the best gift we can give to ourselves. The value of the open space of not knowing is undervalued in many of our lives.

But it deserves to make a comeback, because in the open space of not knowing we can find bigger answers—authentic answers—and we can enter into the un-optional cycle of confusion to clarity and back. We can do this willingly instead of being dragged along as prisoners.

Open up to confusion and clarity will soon arrive.


Author: Ruth Lera

Editor: Alli Sarazen

Photo: Harwig HKD/Flicker

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